Why 'Helping' Sabotages Your Child’s Confidence

When we see our child struggling with a math problem, fumbling with their shoelaces, or facing a social conflict on the playground, every instinct in our bodies screams at us to step in. We want to be the hero. We want to be the 'Protector' who smooths the path and removes the pain. But what if our 'help' is actually an act of sabotage? So how are we supposed to just bypass our fixing nature and how are we supposed to know when it’s appropriate to do so?Jody Hill is a confidence coach and an expert in child development who helps parents move from 'The Rescuer' to 'The Resource.' She’s here to show us how to pivot our fatherhood strategy, moving from fixing the problem to forming the child.Get the free Confidence Boosters & Busters Guide here: https://itsjhill.lpages.co/free-confidence-boosters-busters-web/To learn more about Jody's work and get her book visit: https://www.itsjodyhill.com/Follow Jody on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/jodyhillparenting/To be a guest on The Fatherhood Challenge visit: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thefatherhoodchallenge Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastrhttps://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge00:02.62Jonathan GuerreroAs fathers, our biological our biological hardwiring is set to fix. When we see our children struggle we see our child struggling with a math problem, fumbling with their shoelaces, or facing a social conflict in the playground, every instinct in our body screams at us to step in.00:20.98Jonathan GuerreroWe want to be the hero. We want to be the protector who soothes the path and smooths out the path and removes the pain. We think we're being good dads. We think we're showing them love.00:33.34Jonathan GuerreroBut what our help is actually But what if our help is actually an act of sabotage? Every time we step in too early, we steal the wind from our children. We take away the moment where they realize they are capable, resilient, and resourceful.00:49.62Jonathan GuerreroWhen we remove the obstacle, we inadvertently send a message, I don't think you can handle this without me. Over time, that well-intentioned protection builds a foundation of self-doubt rather than self-confidence.01:03.22Jonathan GuerreroSo how are we supposed to just bypass our fixing nature and how are we supposed to know when it's appropriate for us to do so? Our guest is going to bring some answers in just a moment, so don't go anywhere.01:58.50Jonathan GuerreroGreetings everyone. Thank you so much for joining me and my son and co-host Isaac. Hello everyone. Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge. Today we are also joined by our guest Jody Hill. Jody is a confidence coach and an expert in child development who helps parents move from the rescuer to the resource.02:16.21Jonathan GuerreroShe's here to show us how to pivot our fatherhood strategy, moving from fixing the problem to forming the child to forming the child. Jody, welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge.02:26.84JodyHey guys, thank you so much for having me. i absolutely love what you guys are doing on this podcast and I'm so glad to be here.02:35.00Jonathan GuerreroJody, the first question burning on my mind and probably the minds of listeners is how in the world did you get the passion to become a confidence coach? There has to be a story. What is that story?02:48.38JodySo it really began when i was going through a really tough challenge when my kids were young. So i was going through a divorce and my youngest was two and I had three-year-old, almost five-year-old and an almost seven-year-old. So really little children.03:06.33JodyAnd the divorce at this point was inevitable. And what really got me started on this journey was hearing these divorce statistics about children, like children of divorced homes will be like X, Y, Z. And it was so negative. And I was like, okay, I see this as the reality And this is something that's really hard that I'm going to have to navigate my children through.03:32.57JodyAnd yet it doesn't have to be their demise. And this is also life, right? Like life is going to have really hard things and it's going to have challenges.03:43.29JodySo I was, you know, asking myself, how can I raise children who are confident, who are capable, and who can thrive through life's challenges. And that is really what started me on this journey.03:58.78JodyAnd of like seeing, okay, what tools do I have? Do I need to get? Do I need to learn to really equip my children? And that's what led me to my messaging and writing a book on this because I, as I was learning these resources and tools, I knew that it was so powerful for other parents to grasp this as well.04:18.98JodySo that is what started me on my journey.04:24.36Jonathan GuerreroThat's really cool. That's really cool. And it turned into a book as well. We're definitely gonna have to talk about that more later on in the episode.04:31.54JodyYeah. Yeah.04:31.64Jonathan GuerreroWe often tell ourselves that we're stepping in to save ...