Ep. 322 - They Only Hear Me When I’m Angry: Codependency, Suppressed Rage & Healthy Conflict After Divorce

Hi love.

Have you ever felt like no one listens…until you lose it?

You ask calmly.
You explain clearly.
You regulate yourself.

And nothing changes.

But the moment you explode? Suddenly, everyone’s paying attention.

In this premium Behind the Mic episode, Tiffini, Joy, and I unpack the dynamic that hit a nerve in the office this morning:

Why do some systems only respond to anger?

We talk about:

– The pattern of suppressing anger to be the “good girl”
– The breaking point where suppression turns into explosion
– Why some partners (and kids) only respond when you’re dysregulated
– Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the war between your Manager and Firefighter parts
– The Anacardium pattern: “Everybody breaks.”
– How codependency is rooted in the refusal to feel
– Why leaning in feels scarier than leaning out
– The guilt that comes when you stop over-functioning
– Parenting from regulation instead of control
– And how to break generational suppression before it reaches your daughter’s Saturn return

We also explore a powerful truth:

Codependency isn’t just “doing too much.”

It’s:
“I don’t want to feel.
And I don’t want you to feel.”

And when feelings are suppressed long enough, rage becomes the only available language.

This episode is raw.
We talk about screaming fights.
Throwing clothes in the yard.
Village parenting.
Undoing 20 years of over-functioning.
And what it looks like to assume goodwill instead of defending.

If you’ve ever thought: “They only hear me when I’m angry,”
This conversation will help you understand why.

And more importantly, how to stop needing to break to be seen.

Welcome to Panel Rant Thursday.

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On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com

A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.

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