The 3 Reasons You Still React to a Narcissist (Even When You Know Better)

The 3 Reasons You Still React to a Narcissist (Even When You Know Better) You’ve learned the patterns. You understand narcissistic behavior. And yet — you still find yourself reacting, explaining, defending, or feeling emotionally pulled back in. This episode breaks down why that happens and why it has nothing to do with weakness or lack of healing. Christy explains the nervous-system and psychological reasons survivors continue to react, and how awareness alone isn’t enough to change the pattern. If you’ve ever left an interaction thinking, “Why did that still affect me?” — this episode will bring clarity and relief. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why trauma bonding keeps your brain hooked even after separation How nervous system conditioning overrides logic in real time The hidden emotional triggers narcissists activate — often without words The shift that helps you move from reaction → regulation → response Your Next Step in Healing If you’re ready to stop overthinking interactions and start feeling calm, clear, and grounded again, deeper support can help you retrain both mindset and nervous system responses. 3-Month Transformational Coaching (Deep-Dive Support) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Focused, high-support coaching to help you stabilize emotionally, implement boundaries, and break reactive patterns. 6-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ For women ready to fully rebuild self-trust, confidence, and emotional safety. 12-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Container https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Long-term transformation and identity rebuilding after narcissistic abuse. Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free): https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact: https://christyjade.podbean.com/e/ep-5-the-grey-rock-method-how-to-disconnect-from-narcissistic-abusers/ TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): So you understand narcissistic behavior now or at least way more than you used to. You see the manipulation, you see the patterns you promised yourself, you will not get pulled in again. And then one message shows up and suddenly your heart is racing. You're explaining yourself again, and afterward you're wondering, why am I still reacting like this? Today we're going to talk about why that happens and why it does not mean you are failing at healing. Okay? Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. (00:51) Hello queen. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with Christy Jade. Alright, so I want to start first with something that I hear constantly, and maybe you've said this to yourself too. I know what they're doing. So why does it still affect me? Because there's this strange phase in healing where your awareness wakes up, but your nervous system is still lagging. It's still not caught up, and this is very, very normal. So I want you to know that first of all, right, your mind understands what happened, but your body, that nervous system, all the things still reacts like it is happening now. Basically it's stuck, and I get that word so much from my clients, I feel stuck. So the text comes in, your stomach drops, you feel pressure to respond immediately. That urgency, oh, I'm familiar, I remember that guy. Do not miss urgency. And you start mentally defending yourself before you've even unlocked your phone and afterwards, then comes the shame. (02:04) I should be past this. So today I want to walk you through something very gently, well, as queen gently as I can be, right? Because there are really three things happening underneath these reactions, and once you see them, you will stop blaming yourself. Well, that is my goal here. Okay, so reason one, your body still thinks you are in danger. When you lived inside these narcissistic dynamics, your nervous system adapted to survive the unpredictability. This is something that is not normal. It's not what most people have to go through in life, this unpredictable, unsafe feeling all the time. So you learn to respond quickly, explain fast, fix tension before it actually escalated. Not you were weak, but because your brain was protecting you, right? Your subconscious. So now when that person reaches out, your body reacts before logic has time to step in. Your heart speeds up your thoughts, race desperately trying to figure out what to do, even though a lot of times we've been through this over and over and you feel that urgency again, urgency is my enemy. (03:32) I still have some residual...