Episode 322: Silent Night, Zombie Night

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We have had zombie outbreaks whilst on international flights, we have had zombie outbreaks at a wedding, at a school trip to a petting zoo, and here, we have a bad daytime TV soap opera affair story, set in LA, at Christmas during the zombie apocalypse.

The menage-a-trois, complete with daytime TV soap piano, and awful dialog is between overly macho and difficult asshole cop Frank Talbot, his yoyoing wife Sarah who goes between Frank and his younger more handsome, but clearly morally questionable partner Nash.

There is too much of this going on. We start with Sarah separating from Frank and going to Nash, but when Nash loses a toe, that Frank cauterizes, she ends up in bed with Frank, then Nash when he wakes up, then Frank again after she shouts and attracts the zombies, then Nash again when they get drunk and Frank heads out to supposedly find supplies but never gets any, before Frank again when he is back after shooting Nash by mistake, and Frank needs a wound cauterized. Too much cauterizing, not enough using the first aid kit in their squad car outside.

We do get Lew Temple (The Walking Dead and Zombex) and Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp) and Vernon Wells (Commando and Mad Max 2), but they are but fleeting moments of IMDBery. None of them bringing much to the movie at all.

And the zombies? Lumpy faced contact lens wearers, the colour of the lenses denoting if you are a runner or a shambler.

It was poor, none of the characters likable enough for you to care if they live or died.

3.5/10 instead get three TVs and set them up in the same room. Put Days of Our Lives on one TV, a bad cop show on another, and a bad zombie movie on the third and get stoned looking from one TV to the next for similar effect.