Episode 356: How to Assess Real Change When a Partner Promises Everything

When you tell your partner you want a divorce and suddenly they promise everything, how do you know if it's real desire to change or just panic talking? You may be hearing apologies that sound deeper than anything you've heard before, promises of therapy, and urgent requests for time, all while you're stuck questioning yourself. Is this real? Is it different this time? Or is this fear talking? That confusion, the second-guessing, and the pull to pause your own healing just to see what happens are incredibly common.

In this solo episode, I walk you through how to assess change clearly and safely. You'll learn what real change actually looks like beyond words and emotional displays, why pressure and urgency are red flags, and why your safety and autonomy never become negotiable just because someone promises to change. Remember, you can keep moving forward with your own healing and planning without putting your life on hold while a partner claims they are working on themselves.

✨This episode includes a free downloadable worksheet to help you assess whether real change is actually happening. Grab it at kateanthony.com/assessingchange.

What you'll hear about in this episode:

• How to tell the difference between genuine commitment and a crisis reaction
• What real change actually looks like in behavior, accountability, and time
• Why your nervous system is data and how to use it to assess safety
• How to observe patterns without gaslighting yourself or putting your life on hold
• Why your safety and autonomy never become negotiable

✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

Resources & Links:

Assessing Change Worksheet
Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-356-how-to-assess-real-change-when-a-partner-promises-everything/