3 Ways Narcissists Hijack Your Nervous System

If you’ve ever wondered why your body still panics—even when you know better—this episode is for you. Narcissists don’t just manipulate conversations; they manipulate states like fear, urgency, guilt, and confusion. And once your nervous system is activated, logic goes offline. In this episode, Christy breaks down three specific ways narcissists hijack your nervous system, why your reactions are not a failure, and how to begin calming your body so you can respond with clarity instead of spiraling. This is especially important for anyone co-parenting, navigating post-separation abuse, or dealing with a narcissistic parent or ex. You’ll learn how nervous system hijacking actually works—and why healing isn’t about “being stronger,” but about safety, regulation, and self-trust. Your Next Step in Healing If interactions with a narcissist still send your body into panic or shutdown, 1:1 coaching offers personalized nervous-system-aware support, communication strategy, and boundary clarity—especially for high-conflict or co-parenting situations. Email: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching Container Deep nervous system work, boundary integration, and identity rebuilding so you stop second-guessing yourself and start living from calm authority. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term healing for complex trauma, co-parenting, family narcissism, and post-separation abuse—supporting true, lasting regulation and peace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): If you've ever thought, why am I still panicking when I know better? This episode is for you. Today, I'm going to break down three very specific ways narcissists hijack your nervous system so you can stop blaming yourself and start calming your body again. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen. This one's for you. Alright, so welcome back. Let me say this clearly right out of the gates, if your body still reacts even after therapy, after setting your lovely boundaries and doing everything right, you are not failing. Your nervous system has been trained. So narcissists don't just manipulate conversations, right? They manipulate states. So states of fear, urgency, God, I hate that one. Guilt and confusion. So today we're not talking about just, oh, just ignore 'em or be stronger, right? (01:19) We're talking about how the hijacking actually happens and what helps you come back to safety. Alright? So the first way they use urgency to bypass your regulation, this one is very, very important and one that I didn't really learn about till later in my research. Education, knowledge, all of them, right? This urgency is something we all get conditioned to have. So it can be sneaky, it can be sudden texts, last minute demands, fake emergencies. I remember having some of those, like this needs to be handled right now or call me immediately. I've literally had a narcissist say, this is an emergency you need to pick up when I wouldn't pick up. And then it goes, you go, oh, okay. And then you find out it's not really an emergency, right? So urgency shuts down your thinking brain and activates what we are familiar with survival mode. (02:33) So your body doesn't ask, is this real? It asks, am I in danger? And once you respond from that place, the narcissist feels power again. So what do we do with all this, right? I can just, sorry, I'm just thinking back to that urgency feeling and how disruptive is right. So I just want to, I guess for solidarity sake right now, say I see you and I feel you in this space of urgency. And it's this just constant stress in your body that is feeling like everything's urgent and this fear of if you don't respond right away, if you don't do what they say, it's this tight chest tight neck. It literally changes your body, not just your mentally, but your body, your physiology. So one way to reframe it is that urgency does not mean importance. So what can help with this is before responding pause and orient, because you have to pull yourself out of this urgency. (03:55) You have to retrain, reframe your brain so that you don't feel stuck in this cycle. So orienting, I've talked about this on here before, but this really helps in these situations. So you can just pause wherever you are. This is great. You can do this tool anywhere. Name three things you can see. So I'll do an example right now that ...