EP 3611 What you hate in them you hate in you

EP 3611: What you hate in them you hate in you

Most men say they want to be strong leaders. Then they avoid the exact moments that require strength: hard conversations, clean boundaries, decisive action, and taking responsibility when it would be easier to blame the world.

In today's culture, a lot of men have been trained to second-guess their instincts. Be assertive and you're "too much." Be calm and you're "checked out." Speak up and you're "controlling." Stay quiet and you're "weak." So men retreat. They outsource their leadership to the loudest voice in the room, then resent it.

This episode cuts through that noise with one uncomfortable truth: the traits you can't stand in other people are often the parts of you that you've disowned. The arrogance you hate. The selfishness you judge. The incompetence that triggers you. The emotional chaos that makes you furious. If it hooks you, it's got something to teach you.

That doesn't mean you accept bad behaviour. It means you stop being owned by it. You learn to separate standards from triggers. You build self-awareness so you can respond like a leader instead of reacting like a wounded bloke trying to protect his ego.

In The Strong Life Project style, I walk you through how projection works, why resentment is a warning light, and how men can reclaim healthy masculine strength without becoming aggressive, toxic, or performative. Expect practical questions you can use today, including how to identify your "shadow" patterns, where they came from, and what to do instead.

If you want better relationships, more respect, and a calmer mind, start here: own what's yours, lead where you are, and stop waiting for permission to be the man you know you can be. Listen now, then write down one trigger this week and choose a different response.