Adulthood Without a Script

How Men and Women Navigate Modern Expectations

Adulthood used to come with clearer signposts. You could tell—at least roughly—what counted as progress, and what “being grown-up” looked like. Now the milestones arrive later, in a different order, under tighter constraints, and with a greater risk of reversal. Many people do the adult work—earning, caring, coping—yet still feel provisional.

Adulthood Without a Script explains what changed, and why the loss of a shared sequence makes everyday life more judgement-heavy. Drawing on research from psychology, sociology, public health, and work-and-family studies, it shows how expectations form, how they get enforced, and how the same behaviour can be read differently depending on gender and context.

The book examines the pressures that shape modern life: unstable work and housing, status anxiety and comparison (especially online), the provider and self-control expectations many men struggle to name, the double load and likeability penalties many women face, and the tensions that surface in relationships, sex, and parenting when shared assumptions are weak.

It doesn’t offer slogans or miracle fixes. Instead, it gives a practical framework for making expectations visible, naming trade-offs, and building workable agreements at home, at work, and in relationships—so adulthood can be lived with clearer standards and less needless moralising.