EP 265: "Don't Try to Fix Her" ~ A Husband's Guide to Supporting His Wife in Eating Disorder Recovery with Kevin Nichol💙

Today is a very special episode. For the first time ever, I'm bringing on a guest. And not just any guest—my husband, Kevin. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know I talk a lot about my recovery journey, the tools, the strategies, the mindset shifts. But what I don't talk about as much is the man behind the scenes. The man who supports me. The man who holds down the fort so I can record this podcast, run my business, and continue to show up for you every single week. Kevin is that man. He's the anchor. And it's time for you to meet him. Here's the truth: Recovery doesn't just affect the person struggling. It affects the whole family. And the support of a partner can make or break the journey. Kevin met me shortly after my recovery, but he's watched me navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout our marriage. He's a law enforcement officer, lifts heavy weights, is in tip-top shape, and constantly pushes himself to the limit. He's an alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined. And he's also a man of God, a father to our two boys, and the most supportive partner I could ever ask for. But supporting someone in eating disorder recovery didn't come naturally to him. He had to learn. And today, he's sharing what he learned—for the men listening, and for the women who want their husbands or partners to understand what real support looks like. In this episode, you'll hear: How Kevin met me shortly after recovery and realized it's an ongoing journey, not a one-and-doneWhy his instinct to "fix" me actually created distance instead of intimacyThe words he thought were supportive that actually made me feel dismissedWhat he did that made me feel the MOST safe and supportedHow he learned not to react in passion or frustration, but to actively listen insteadWhy asking "What do you need right now to feel safe?" changed everythingHow Kevin had to recognize that what HE needs for his body is very different from what I needThe learning curve of being an alpha male married to someone in ED recoveryWhat it really looks like to be "the man behind the biz" (spoiler: it's cooking, cleaning, and holding down the fort)Kevin's 5 practical takeaways for men supporting their wives through ED recovery or body image strugglesA sneak peek at future episodes where Kevin will come back to share more of his perspective If you're a woman in recovery, send this episode to your husband or partner. If you're a man listening, thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. This episode is for you. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Your wife doesn't need you to fix her. She needs you to support her. And those are two very different things." - Lindsey 💛 "You don't have to understand everything she's going through to support her. You don't have to have all the answers. But you do have to be willing to listen. And I mean really listen—without trying to fix it, without pressuring her, without making unnecessary comments." - Kevin 💛 "Early on, my instinct was to say things like, 'You're fine. You look great. Just go eat more.' And I thought I was being supportive. But what I didn't realize was that those kinds of comments actually created more distance between us." - Kevin 💛 "That disconnect—it affected intimacy. Not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy too." - Lindsey 💛 "I had to learn that sometimes the most supportive thing I can do is just listen. Ask questions. Ask what you need to feel safe. And then do that." - Kevin 💛 "When you asked what I needed instead of assuming, I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt like you were on my team." - Lindsey 💛 "I can't take away the struggle. I can't make the eating disorder voice go away. But I can support you in climbing out of the struggle. I can listen. I can be present. I can remind you who you are." - Kevin 💛 "You don't have to sit in the struggle with her. But you can support her in climbing out. You can be her safe place." - Kevin 💛 "I had to grant you permission to have a different relationship with your body than I have with mine. Your recovery doesn't look like my fitness journey. And that's okay." - Kevin 💛 "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." - Kevin 💛 "Your job is just to be the anchor." - Kevin MEET KEVIN NICHOL Kevin is: A law enforcement officerA fitness enthusiast who lifts heavy and pushes himself to the limitAn alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplinedA man of GodA father to two boysLindsey's husband and "the man behind the biz"The anchor who holds down the fort so Lindsey can do this work Kevin met Lindsey shortly after her initial recovery, but quickly realized that recovery is ongoing. He's watched her navigate ups and downs with body image and ...