Why Are We So Lonely - Dr Colman Noctor #161

In this episode, Paul sits down with clinical psychotherapist and author Dr. Colman Noctor to explore what’s really happening beneath the surface of modern mental health—particularly for children, teenagers, and young adults. Drawing on nearly 30 years of clinical experience, Colman explains why anxiety has dominated the last decade, and why loneliness is now emerging as a serious and growing issue. They unpack how technology, the loss of unstructured play, and the erosion of community have left many young people without the foundational social skills previous generations absorbed naturally through everyday connection.

As the conversation deepens, the focus widens beyond young people to society as a whole. Paul and Colman reflect on the loss of village, tribe, and spontaneous human connection—and how work and romantic relationships are now expected to meet needs once spread across community. Colman introduces his concept of “cop on” as the ability to respond proportionately to life, rather than living at emotional extremes, and explains the thinking behind the “4–7 Zone” as a practical framework for emotional regulation and sustainable performance. Together, they explore why fulfillment doesn’t come from constant happiness or relentless ambition, but from returning regularly to the middle—where resilience, connection, and meaning are built.

About the Guest

Dr. Colman Noctor is a clinical psychotherapist who has worked extensively with children, adolescents, and young adults for almost three decades. He is known for his clear, practical approach to mental health—helping people develop emotional regulation, resilience, and perspective in an increasingly extreme and disconnected world. Colman is the author of Cop On: What It Is and Why Your Mental Health Depends on It and The 4–7 Zone, and he writes weekly columns on psychology, parenting, and modern life for the Irish Examiner.

Website: http://colmannoctor.com/

About the Host

Paul Ryan is a CEO, 8-figure business owner, mentor, and podcaster. As host of The Inner Entrepreneur Podcast, Paul explores the inner game of entrepreneurship—purpose, identity, emotional intelligence, wellbeing, and conscious success. Through conversations with founders, thinkers, coaches, and spiritual teachers, he creates space for deeper reflection on what it really means to live and lead well, beyond metrics and money.

Website: https://pauljryan.net/

Work With Paul

Paul works with seasoned entrepreneurs to clarify what’s next and align their life and business to what matters most.You can book a discovery call with Paul here: https://calendly.com/inner-entrepreneur-podcast/discovery-call-with-paul-ryan