Episode 173: Why Negative Feelings Are Signals And How To Use Them For Growth with guests, Terry Hildebrandt and Charles Jones

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What if your toughest feelings aren’t enemies to defeat but signals to decode? We sit down with behavioral scientist Charles Jones and executive coach Terry Hildebrandt to unpack Emotional Responsibility, a simple, powerful framework that turns anger, anxiety, frustration, and guilt into clear next steps—and uses joy as concrete proof that our needs are being met.

We trace the origins of this work back to research on flow states and explore a core distinction that changes everything: emotions drive thought, while needs drive behavior. That shift helps leaders stop suppressing emotions and start harnessing them. Anger points to a right to assert; anxiety flags risk to mitigate; frustration highlights blocked goals; guilt calls us back to ethics. When we name the feeling, identify the need, and plan a specific action, the emotion naturally settles because the mind registers progress. On the flip side, savoring positive emotions while naming the strategy that worked strengthens neural pathways, boosting cognitive performance, collaboration, and resilience.

From a coaching perspective, ERA opens the door to lasting behavior change. Once the true need is visible, unhelpful programming becomes adjustable. We share practical methods to transform recurring derailers, accelerate soft-skill growth, and even retire trauma patterns by creating conditions where the subconscious lets go. At the team and culture level, ERA tackles what Terry calls the new pandemic—emotional victimhood—by replacing blame with ownership. Leaders learn to translate complaints into needs, empower people to meet those needs, and build trust through clear agreements and consistent follow-through.

Ready to work smarter with your emotions and build a healthier culture? Listen now, then subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who leads teams, and leave a quick review with the one emotion you plan to harness this week.

Watch the full interview by clicking here.

Find the full article here.

Learn more about Terry here.

Learn more about Charles here.

Terry and Charles would like to offer our listeners their video course ($100 value) FREE, that teaches coaches "How to Transform Stress Into Growth with Emotional Response-Ability". Click the link here. Use Code: choice

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