Satire Vampire

Long live the bloodsuckers.

On Planet X—formerly Earth, formerly functional—the nation has elected an Uber Vampire whose hunger isn’t metaphorical. His rule spreads through screens, signals, and devotion, draining the population dry while demanding adoration, obedience, and fluids. Preferably red.

Nancy and John are retired, irritated, and profoundly unimpressed. When neighbors start hissing, bread is declared treason, and the sky turns grape-purple with suppression gas, they do what any sensible elders would do: form a resistance.

Armed with duct tape, lemon bars, outlawed books, and an army of extremely hostile ostriches, Nancy and John fight back against a regime powered by broadcast hypnosis, vampire algorithms, and blood-fueled missiles. Along the way, squirrels become couriers, libraries become fortresses, and the most dangerous act of rebellion turns out to be… silence.

Satire Vampire is a blisteringly funny dystopian satire—equal parts political lampoon, vampire farce, and love letter to stubborn humanity. Sharp, surreal, and fearless, it skewers cultish power, media obsession, and authoritarian absurdity with wit, warmth, and weaponized baked goods.

If you like your dystopias smart, your satire savage, and your revolutions led by retirees with livestock, it’s time to bite back.
Read Satire Vampire today—and join the resistance before the juice runs out.