A Fresh Start For Your Relationships // Spring Cleaning Your Life, Part 4

As we contemplate the year ahead, we can't think for too long without thinking about our relationships. The good ones. The mediocre ones. And, the downright destructive and hurtful ones too. It's just so good to be with you again today, looking forward together at the year that lies ahead. And as we think about that year, all the good things and the difficult things that are going to come our way, it is hard to think for more than a few minutes without turning our attention to relationships. Have you ever though about how many relationships you have? Relationships ranging from absolutely crucial to distant; fantastic to fiasco; blessing to bust. And those relationships it turns out have a huge impact in the quality and the effectiveness of the lives that we lead. So what if we looked across all those relationships and looked at the ones that are causing us grief and did something about them. What impact would that have on our lives this year? This week on A Different Perspective we're looking at spring cleaning our lives. Over the week so far we have look at spring cleaning our homes, our finances, our priorities. If you have missed any of those you can listen to them again online at our website www.Christianityworks.com . There are different sorts of people in our lives and one of the groups of people that we have in our lives are what I have called "Poisonous" people. People who drag us down. People who criticise and abuse and compromise. Recently my wife Jacqui and I met a couple. Here was this married woman behaving improperly without setting appropriate boundaries. It was so easy for us to have friendships and relationships with people who are "Poisonous" people. There is a great picture of the apostle Paul on the island of Malta. You can read about it in the 28th chapter in the book of Acts in the New Testament. He is picking up some wood and a viper, a snake, bites him on the hand and starts pumping poison into him. And he shakes it off and throws it into the fire. We all know people like that. People who when we are around them they pump poison into our spirits. I would contend that part of having a healthy life is looking at some of those relationships that in fact we shouldn't even be in. Some of the sorts of people that are so bad for us we need to just say, "I am not just going have a relationship with this person." You might be listening and say, "But that's not a very Christian attitude to have." I would like to point to you what Jesus said to the disciples when he sent them out. You can read about it in Matthew's Gospel, chapter 10 verse 14. He said "Look, go into these towns and tell them about the good news. Tell them about Me. If they don't listen shake the dust of your feet and go into the next town." Sometimes there are people in our lives (and in our hearts we know who they are) we are having friendships and relationships with that are just dragging us down. Is it time to spring clean those. Maybe those people are really close, maybe they are husband or wife. Maybe someone is being hard on us and it is hurting us. Well this is my husband or this is my wife, I just can't leave them. I would agree. It's not time to trash a marriage or our children. That is not what I am talking about. But in that case I just wonder whether it is time to deal with the issues. To try and figure out what I am doing wrong in this relationship. Honestly. Half the time bad relationships come back to what I am doing not what the other person is doing to us. And also dealing with issues. If someone is always angry with us, if someone is always criticising us, or if someone is always whinging, sure let's love them. Let's encourage them, let's be there for them, but let's speak the truth in love. But if you are having a tough day and if you just feel like grumbling, and you're with me, I will empathise with you, I will counsel you, I will listen to you. I will love you. But I tell you what there is one thing I will not do. I will not sit down and grumble with you. And I won't let you ruin my life. Sometimes we need to confront issues. Because if we let poisonous people continue to pump poison into us, eventually it is going to hurt us. The second group of people I would like to talk about is distant people. There are sometimes people we should be close to, our family, maybe and older parent, maybe an older brother and sister that have grown up. Maybe our kids. You know, kids go from being a kid to being a teenager and somewhere along the line there as most teenagers do, they close their lives off. And we end up feeding them, clothing them, driving them, disciplining them but sometimes we don't have a relationship with them. It's not an easy time having teenagers in our family. And parents have a kind of different set of standards and kids want to do… you know what it's like. You've been there. What do you do about people that are distant to us that we should be close to? What can we do to spring clean ...