Episode 100: Caring for Aging Parents: Why Waiting Is the Most Expensive Option

In this episode of Stuff About Money They Didn’t Teach You in School, Xavier Angel, CFP®, is joined by Shannon Mehaffey Ory, Owner and Senior Care Consultant at Avila Senior Advisors, for an honest conversation about something every family will face but few feel prepared for: caring for aging parents. Whether care needs change slowly or arrive overnight after a fall, hospitalization, or diagnosis, Xavier and Shannon unpack why families often find themselves making major financial and care decisions under stress, emotion, and time pressure, usually without a plan. With over a decade of experience across senior housing, memory care, home care, and mission-based work with the homebound and aging, Shannon brings clarity to a confusing and emotionally charged process. Together, she and Xavier walk through six essential things families need to understand about long-term care, including why crisis-based decisions are the most expensive, why Medicare assumptions can be dangerous, and how understanding care options like assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing changes everything. At the heart of this episode is a simple but powerful truth: early planning gives families options, peace of mind, and the ability to honor their loved one’s wishes. If you have aging parents, or hope someone will one day advocate well for you, this is a conversation worth starting now. If this episode resonates, follow the show and share it with someone who needs to hear it before life forces their hand. Episode Highlights: Shannon shares her background in Health Administration with a concentration in senior housing and her experience working across multiple states in assisted living, memory care, and sitter agencies. (03:04) Shannon explains how care needs can change overnight with an example of a healthy client whose wife fell after a medication change. (07:50) Shannon discusses the differences between sitter agencies and private independent sitters, recommending getting names ahead of time through church or friends. (13:30) Shannon describes dementia as a journey and explains factors that determine whether someone should stay home or move to memory care. (18:42) Shannon explains independent living retirement communities, including buy-in fees and how residents can lock in monthly rates as their needs increase. (22:01) Shannon defines activities of daily living (ADLs) including bathing, dressing, hygiene, feeding, and transfers. (26:36) Xavier discusses the importance of aligning care needs with financial ability and how crisis-based decisions become the most expensive. (32:42) Shannon discusses how clients discover VA benefits they had no idea they had access to, making senior living possible. (37:22) Shannon shares her main takeaway that there are options available for aging parents, including resources not widely known to the public. (42:48) Key Quotes: “Every family is unique in what they're experiencing and what their needs are, and they do need accompaniment through that to figure out what is available for them specifically.” - Shannon Mehaffey Ory “A lot of people forget what their long-term care insurance policies included, and adult children have no idea their parents have this, and finding that out means a whole world is possible to them that the children didn't know was possible.” - Shannon Mehaffey Ory “The benefit of independent living is you don't have any maintenance. You probably can pay an extra fee for housekeeping. You have a ton of social opportunities, lovely dining. People go on trips together in independent living communities all the time.” - Shannon Mehaffey Ory Resources Mentioned: Shannon Mehaffey Ory Avila Senior Advisors Erik Garcia, CFP®, BFA Xavier Angel, CFP®, ChFC, CLTC Plan Wisely Wealth Advisors