Episode 11 - "Everything After 'But' is Bulls**t: How to Cut Through Your Own Excuses and Live Again"

"Everything After 'But' is Bulls**t: How to Cut Through Your Own Excuses and Live Again"
Episode Summary

You've built a successful life, climbed the ladder, and proven yourself. So why does the idea of starting over as a beginner feel both terrifying and necessary? In this season two premiere, Kevin and Joe tackle the uncomfortable truth about midlife: everything after "but" is usually an excuse, and staying comfortable is the most dangerous choice you can make. Through raw personal stories, Joe's transformation from bodybuilder to triathlete and Kevin's journey learning to dance alone at 55, they reveal why reclaiming the beginner's mindset might be the key to living fully again.

Why You Should Listen

If you're a professional man who has achieved what you set out to accomplish but still feel something is missing, this episode offers a roadmap for renewal. Kevin and Joe don't just talk about change, they're living it. You'll discover why the discomfort you feel isn't a problem to solve but an invitation to grow, and how becoming a beginner again can unlock joy, purpose, and vitality you thought were behind you.

Key Quotes"Everything after 'but' is usually bullshit." - Joe's mentor"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." - Carl Jung"Shit's coming, everybody. That's the one promise. Appreciate the blessing of every day that goes your way. And be ready for when it doesn't." - Kevin Rogers"The task of midlife is not to look into the light, but to bring light into the darkness." - James HollisKey Takeaways

1. Listen for your "buts" - Every time you say "I'd love to, but..." you're likely feeding yourself an excuse disguised as logic. The moment you hear yourself say "but," pause and ask what fear is really driving that statement.
2. Start before you're ready - You don't need the perfect plan, equipment, or knowledge to begin. Those who do the most sweeping discover what makes a good broom through the doing. Start messy, start imperfect, just start.
3. Practice being uncomfortable - Find something that makes you the new guy again. The humility and growth that comes from beginner status is medicine for the stagnant soul. Whether it's a sport, skill, or social situation, put yourself in positions where you don't have all the answers.
4. Remove friction from new habits - If you're serious about a new pursuit, eliminate barriers. Joe shaved his head for swimming efficiency. What's your equivalent? Make it easier to do the thing than to avoid it.

Resources Mentioned

1. "The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning in Midlife" by James Hollis - A guide to understanding that the task of midlife is not to look into the light, but to bring light into the darkness through self-realization and growth.

Call-to-Action

If this episode inspired you to reconnect with joy and curiosity, please share it with someone who could use the encouragement. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts to help us reach more listeners navigating midlife transitions. Every episode is complemented with a weekly newsletter so sign up for our SubStack at maninthemiddleshow.com

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