6.06 /// A male perspective on IVF, Heartbreak & Renewed Hope...

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The room went quiet before anyone spoke, and that silence said everything. After nearly eight years of IVF—postcode lotteries, NHS backlogs, COVID cancellations, and a thousand tiny appointments—our long‑awaited positive test gave way to a 12‑week scan without a heartbeat. I talk through the whole arc: the science and scheduling that govern every dose and scan, the tender shock of seeing a flicker at eight weeks, and the brutal task of phoning parents who were waiting for photos. Along the way I open up about the odd invisibility of the non‑carrying partner, how it feels to be the chauffeur and signature while someone you love carries the injections and the hope, and why “It’ll happen” often hurts more than it helps.

I also find a thread of light. This protocol worked in a way none had before; Sarah was pregnant, and bodies sometimes remember. That matters as we plan our next transfer, shaped around a long‑booked Caribbean cruise and Zika rules that force careful timing. I share what we learned about telling people early, managing expectations when clinics speak in millimetres and days, and setting boundaries when curiosity outpaces care. Most of all, I explore what real support sounds like: asking permission to talk about it, offering child care without hesitation, and choosing “I’m here” over easy fixes.

If you’re navigating infertility, miscarriage, or the long administrative shadow of treatment, you’re not alone. Our story won’t hand you platitudes; it offers a clear picture of grief that coexists with practical hope, and a path forward that values small joys, honest language, and patience with yourself. If this resonates, follow the show, share this with someone who needs comfort on a hard day, and leave a review so others can find it too.

Links

miscarriage association

nhs

samaritans

mind uk

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