Calming Toddlers at Bedtime After a New Sibling Arrives: A Nervous System–Led Approach

When a new baby arrives, bedtime can quickly become the most emotionally charged part of the day — especially for toddlers.In this episode of Breathe, Laugh, Parent, Rach gently unpacks why bedtime often becomes the flashpoint after a sibling arrives and how to support your toddler through this transition without force, threats, or unrealistic expectations.This conversation is grounded in lived experience, nervous system science, and deep compassion for both parent and child. It’s not about “fixing” bedtime — it’s about understanding what’s actually happening beneath the behaviour and responding in ways that create safety, connection, and regulation.Why bedtime amplifies big feelings after a new sibling arrivesHow loss of predictability and shared attention impacts a toddler’s nervous systemWhy toddlers act out at night — and why it makes perfect senseThe difference between “calm” and regulated (and why regulation matters more)How to slow bedtime down to signal safety, not separationConnection-based boundaries that support sleep without power strugglesSimple, repeatable rituals that help toddlers land before sleepWhat to do when you feel triggered, overwhelmed, or at capacityPractical tools like firm pressure play, massage, storytelling, and movementWhy consistency and modelling matter — and how change takes timeGentle reminders for parents navigating sleep deprivation and emotional overloadRach also shares real-life strategies that have supported her own family — including play-based regulation, nervous system repair, and tools that grow with your child over time (not overnight).This episode is especially supportive for:Parents with toddlers and babies under 12 monthsFamilies navigating sibling transitionsMothers experiencing bedtime resistance, meltdowns, or regressionsParents who want guidance without sleep training or behaviour chartsIf bedtime feels harder than it “should,” this episode is your reminder:Your child isn’t giving you a hard time — they’re having a hard time.And your presence, not perfection, is what helps them settle.Resources referenced in this episode:You can purchase your own Nighty Nighty Massage Oil as mentioned in this episode here. Here’s a limited-time guest pass to try Calm, free for 30 days. Calm is great for helping me manage stress and improve sleep for me and my kids: https://www.calm.com/gp/R3FKPLT38WJJ7MLYJWHere is a playlist of Audiobooks that my toddlers enjoy listening to: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/56tKbdPVri1zt2MSPhZRab?si=PKgtVlDvR6mcIRCgrv5C8Q 🎧 Listen now and return to this episode whenever bedtime feels heavy.Amazon Music and Audible https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c3bc24f1-db61-467d-a503-b9b1636bc9b6.YouTube Podcast Playlisthttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_MVW4mNMjkjJEY9Wf8dv_reqFhj30O77Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/24krcDQdhWbLnNdRpAjqA4?si=BpzcWjNmQJ2zCA4tqj69QgApple Podcastshttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/breathe-laugh-parent-—-the-shine-om-podcast/id1855064498Read more about this episode here: ⁠https://shineom.com.au/articles⁠Learn more about the podcast here: ⁠https://shineom.com.au/podcast⁠ Connect with Rach:🧘‍♀️ Yoga, Mindfulness and nervous system support for Families: ⁠www.shineom.com.au⁠🌿 Natural Skincare & Essential Oils: ⁠⁠www.shineomnatural.com.au⁠⁠Instagram: @shineomnatural | @shineomau⁠www.instagram.com/shineomau ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/shineomnatural ⁠