Hot Flashes & Homicidal Tendencies

A Funny Menopause & Perimenopause Survival Guide for Symptoms Including Rage, Mood Swings, Brain Fog, and Burnout

How to survive perimenopause and menopause without losing your mind—or going to jail—even if nothing else has helped.

Has your patience disappeared overnight?

Are you overheating for no reason, wide awake at 2 a.m., and suddenly enraged by breathing, chewing, or emails that say “per my last message”?

Have you been told to “just relax,” “wait it out,” or “try yoga” while your quality of life quietly caught fire?

If so, this book is for you.

At some point, something went off the rails. You didn’t “change.” You didn’t lose your edge.
Your body installed a surprise update, broke half the features, and refused to roll it back.

Sleep stopped working. Patience disappeared. Everyone began breathing too loudly. And the internal cooling system is now fully offline. We know because we’re here too.

Hot Flashes & Homicidal Tendencies is not a medical textbook. It’s a funny, blunt survival guide for perimenopause and menopause, written for women who are done pretending this phase is manageable with deep breaths and smoothies.

This book doesn’t talk down to you. It doesn’t minimize what’s happening. And it definitely doesn’t suggest that a positive mindset will fix your nervous system.

Instead, it explains what’s actually going on inside your body—in language you can understand when your brain fog is at peak intensity. It validates the rage, the exhaustion, the sensory overload, and the sudden urge to live alone in silence. And it gives you practical ways to cope before you lose your mind or your job. There’s science here, but it’s translated into plain English and wrapped in humor, because you’ve already suffered enough.

We are not here to tell you to “just relax.” We are not here to sell you supplements. And we are absolutely not here to pretend this is “no big deal.”

What we are doing:

• Taking a brutally honest look at menopause symptoms no one warned you about
• Explaining why your nervous system feels permanently fried
• Giving you scripts for doctors, partners, coworkers, and anyone testing you
• Offering comfort hacks that don't require willpower or involve deep breathing (unless you want to)
• And more…

Whether you’re in perimenopause, menopause, surgically menopausal, or just wondering why everything suddenly feels unbearable, this book is here to say: You’re not broken—you’re in transition. And yes, it’s a lot.

Let’s get through it together with humor, honesty, and as few casualties as possible.