How Julie Understood Herself After Raising an Autistic Child

In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Julie M. Green, a writer, Autistic mother, and late-identified Autistic woman whose self-recognition unfolded through parenting. Julie’s story begins not with her own diagnosis, but with her son’s. As she learned how to support an Autistic child, she slowly began to recognise familiar patterns in herself — sensory sensitivity, rigidity, perfectionism, chronic illness, and lifelong shyness that had always been framed as personality flaws rather than neurodivergence.Together, Angela and Julie explore maternal guilt, masking across decades, self- and formal diagnosis, and what changes — and what doesn’t — when you finally have language for your nervous system.🪑 AttendeesChair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocateGuest: Julie M. Green — Autistic writer, Author, and motherYou: The Listener!🗒️ Meeting AgendaOpening remarks from the ChairMember introduction: Childhood signs without diagnosisDiscussion: Parenting an autistic child while recognising autism in yourselfMasking, perfectionism, and decades of mislabelingSelf-diagnosis, formal diagnosis, and imposter syndromeKey learningsClub announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting1️⃣ Opening RemarksAngela introduces Julie as a member whose story begins in a paediatrician’s office — not for herself, but for her son. What started as advocacy and research quickly became a mirror, reflecting traits Julie had carried since childhood but never had language for.2️⃣ Member Introduction: Julie’s StoryJulie grew up in the 1970s and 80s as a highly anxious, perfectionistic, and extremely shy child. Changes in routine triggered meltdowns, collections were rigidly organised, and sensory sensitivities shaped daily life — all framed at the time as personality flaws or the result of being an only child.In school, Julie was quiet, compliant, and high-achieving. Anxiety and perfectionism were invisible to teachers, while internal distress went unnamed.Years later, as a first-time mother, Julie struggled with sensory overload, shutdowns, and intense guilt. When her son was diagnosed with autism at age three, Julie immersed herself in research — first to support him, and eventually to understand herself.3️⃣ Discussion HighlightsMasking and mislabeling: Shyness, rigidity, and perfectionism framed as flawsMaternal guilt: Internalising blame for sensory overwhelm and burnoutSelf-recognition: Seeing autistic traits through parenting without immediately claiming identityDiagnosis decisions: Self-diagnosis, formal assessment, and imposter syndromeDisclosure: Navigating silence, validation, and scepticism from othersAutistic parenting: Modelling boundaries, regulation, and self-advocacy4️⃣ Key LearningsAutism can become visible through caregiving before self-recognitionCompliance and quiet achievement often hide distressFormal diagnosis may change nothing — and everythingSelf-diagnosis is valid; seeking assessment is a personal choiceModelling boundaries is a powerful form of parentingUnderstanding yourself can reduce shame across generations📌 Notice BoardLink for Julie’s book: Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical AcceptanceJulie’s Substack: https://theautisticmom.substack.com/📣 Club Announcements🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.🌈 Celebrate autistic voices with early access, ad-free listening, and our full archive at AutisticCulturePlus.com🌐 Visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com📲 Follow us on Instagram: @autisticculturepodcast🎙️ Executive Producers: Amy Burns, Anamaria B Call, Andrew Banner, Anna Goodson, Ashley Apelzin, Audrea Volker, Ben Coulson, Brian Churcek, Cappy Hamper, Carley Biblin, Charlene Deva, Chloe Cross, Clay Duhigg, Clayton Oliver, Danny Dunn, Daria Brown, David Garrido, Emily Burgess, Eric Crane, Erik Stenerud, Fiona Baker, Grace Norman, Helen Shaddock, Jaimie Collins, Jason Killian, Jen Unruh, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Tretter, Kathie Watson-Gray, Kenneth Knowles, Kira Cotter, Kristine Lang, Kyle Raney, Llew P Williams, Laura Alvarado, Laura De Vito, Laura Provonsha, Lily George, Nelly Darmi, Nigel Rogers, Rachel Miller, Tim Scott, Tyler Kunz, Victoria Steed, Yanina Wood.🎧 Producers: AJ Knight, Bobby Simon, Da Kovac, Eleanor Collins, Emily Griffiths, Hannah Hughes, Jennifer Kemp, Jonas Fløde, Kate F, Katie N Benitez, Kendra Murphy, Lisa Dennys, Logan Wall, Louise Lomas, Melissa Nance, Nicola Owen, Rebecka Johansson, Sam Morris, Sarah Hannah Morris. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.