The 4 Mindsets Every Alienated Parent Needs to Adopt TODAY

What if the way you're thinking about alienation is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, discover the four mindsets that quietly differentiate alienated parents who stay trapped in survival mode from those who create the best possible future—no matter what the court or alienating parent is doing. These aren't about fixing alienation overnight. They're about taking your power back today.

MAIN TALKING POINTS

1. Clarity & Focus: Reclaim What Your Life Is About

• Stop living inside everyone else's head (your ex, your child, the court)
• Ask: "Who do I want my child to find when they're ready?" and "What is my job TODAY?"
• Create two columns: "Gets my energy" vs. "No longer gets my energy"
• If you don't decide what your life is for, alienation will decide for you—and it always picks fear

2. Belief & Possibility: Shift from "Is This Fixable?" to "Who Am I Becoming?"

• Stop organizing your entire inner world around whether the situation is fixable
• Make tiny belief upgrades: from "nothing good can come from this" to "I'm open to being surprised"
• Build an evidence list of times you've surprised yourself with resilience
• Live AS IF possibility exists—don't wait to feel convinced first

3. Emotional Alignment: Feel Without Indulging

• Understand the difference between feeling an emotion and indulging in it
• Use the 3-step process: Name it, Normalize it, Orient it
• Ask: "How do I want to work with this emotion given who I'm becoming?"
• Stop letting your most frightened or furious moments dictate your entire story

4. Detachment & Openness: The Three Circles of Control

• Circle 1 (yours): How you speak to yourself, care for your body, show up in court
• Circle 2 (influence): How others perceive you, whether your child feels safe to soften
• Circle 3 (not yours): Judge's decisions, ex's narrative, exact timing of reconnection

• • Reclaim 90% of your energy from Circle 3 and redirect it to Circle 1

KEY TAKEAWAYS

✓ You can't control alienation, but you CAN control your emotional trajectory starting today

✓ Stop waiting for external circumstances to change before you start building your life

✓ Your nervous system is learning from how you live—teach it that you're safe, capable, and worthy

✓ The parent your child finds when they return matters more than the timeline of their return

✓ Emotional white-knuckling (constantly checking, replaying, gripping) keeps you hostage to every new piece of information

✓ Small redirections compound: Name it → Acknowledge it → Redirect your energy to what you CAN control

✓ Living in your ex's or child's head steals your power—come back into your own

✓ Openness invites flow; clenching blocks it. Let go to let energy move through you