Love or Duty?

A Journey in Caregiving

De: Durlynn Anema

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

What would you do if you were thrust into the role of a caregiver? “One size does not fit all” when it comes to caregiving, says Durlynn Anema, who encourages the reader to face reality. She emphasizes that while caregiving is done in love it takes energy from the caregiver to the point where it becomes a daily duty -- hence the title. While today’s caregivers are predominantly women in mid to late life(as in the past), they have been joined by male spouses, children and grandchildren. Interviews with present and past caregivers give a broad view of varying caregiver situations. Roadblocks and “Shoulda/Coulda” demonstrates what is along the journey. And while humans may not want to think about it, preparing for the final days is imperative. The author tells the reader not to feel guilty about any decisions made -- that what is done is for the good of the loved one. And when the journey is complete the caregiver will know he or she did the best job possible. Care giving a loved one is such an emotional roller coaster ride. This is a must read for those who are currently or thinking of being a primary caregiver. As a Marriage, Family, therapist, I also encourage therapists to read Love or Duty, to understand what many of their caregiving clients are experiencing. Marie Derrick Retired Marriage and Family Therapist I have been a part time care giver for both my mother and father as well as a full time care giver for a spouse through the entire Alzheimer’s process. I find this book has a great many useful suggestions and tips for care givers in almost any situation. It would also be very helpful to the care giver to know that he / she is not alone in the process, and that there are some options for help. Tom Fisher Seattle, WA My husband was ill for several years and it became my responsibility not only to care of his physical needs but to take over the responsibilities of all our family, financial and emotional needs. To have such a resource available as Durlynn Anema's book on care giving would not only have been helpful to me, but would have given some peace of mind to my husband to know there was help available I could use to ease my burden. It was a three year struggle and it would have been so much easier, especially during the last year to learn ways to cope with my husband as well as myself. Elma Griffin Astoria, OR In a six month period of time I lost a fifty-six year-old brother to a quick battle with liver cancer, and two grandmothers to the slow process of age {one was ninety-eight, and the other ninety-nine). In neither case was I prepared, nor knew what to do. I could have used Durlynn's book on love and duty in processing the time of care for these precious family members, the medical mazes of seeming incompetence, and difficult decisions that caused such pain and disagreements in both sides of my family. It is always easier to follow someone who has walked in those situations. Karen D. Wood, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Author of Brain Prayers: Explore Your Brain, Expand Your Prayers