When Regulation Falls Apart: A STEPS Guide to Managing Meltdowns

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Meltdowns are often misunderstood and when we treat them like misbehavior, everyone ends up more dysregulated. In this episode of STEPS Together, we break down the critical difference between tantrums and meltdowns, why that distinction matters, and what your child’s nervous system is communicating when regulation falls apart.

We'll talk about what causes meltdowns and reframe what it really means to manage a meltdown—not by controlling behavior, but by supporting regulation when your child cannot do it alone.

This episode walks you through a clear, repeatable STEPS approach to managing meltdowns, including:

• How to regulate yourself first when emotions run high
• Why reducing demands helps the nervous system reset
• What co-regulation without control looks like in real life
• Practical ways to support your child’s nervous system—and your own—in the moment
• The importance of Reflect and Repair after the meltdown is over to rebuild safety, connection, and learning

This conversation isn’t about eliminating meltdowns. It’s about understanding them and responding with intention, so you can get through the worst of times and build skills for change.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting to help and feeling powerless in the moment, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a path forward—one step at a time.

Download the PDF Guide with all the STEPS for managing meltdowns!