Roommate Horrors and Ruined Military Fantasies

We bring on our first guest and immediately regret nothing. Ellis joins Jesse and Mikey for an episode that’s basically New Orleans trauma bonding: service-industry bullshit, roommate disasters, military rumors, sketchy hookups, near crimes, and people who absolutely should not have been given keys or leases.

There’s no lesson here. Just bad decisions, worse roommates, and the kind of stories you only tell people you trust — or strangers on the internet with a microphone.

If you’ve ever lived with someone unhinged, overshared at 2 a.m., or thought “this probably shouldn’t be recorded”… this one’s for you.

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