Chris’s Prison Stories Vol.1 – Shooting Meth, getting Staph & pushing the Fucking Panic Button

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This Week on Dopey! Dave kicks off the new Thursday Retro Replay / Greatest Hits concept and explains the new Dopey weekly schedule before throwing back to one of the most beloved early episodes: Chris’s Prison Stories Part One (Dopey 67). After a classic call from Dave’s dad Alan complaining about the website reviews and telling his own fake “Fort Apache” jail story, Chris dives into his very real first sentence in Orange County Jail. He breaks down race politics, Woods and Sureños, getting classified as a higher-risk inmate, being asked to “be the falcon” and beat up a loud racist white guy, and what it felt like to be totally green in a vicious system.

Chris tells gnarly stories about shooting meth in jail with a homemade “binky” syringe that’s been up multiple asses, getting covered in staph infection, breaking the ultimate rule by pushing the emergency button, and accidentally giving his post-release girlfriend medication-resistant staph. He also admits to being a dick to a fragile bunkie named Steve by leaving him a bag of trash and tormenting him over the “fishing line,” then gets honest about how jail culture warped his thinking, almost turning love into fear and respect. Dave closes by talking about how much he misses Chris and how proud Chris was of these wild stories, and dedicates the replay to him. All that and more more more on a brand new replay of a super classic dopey show!

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