The Narcissist Is Gone… So Why Are You Still Thinking About Them 24/7?

Episode Summary If the narcissist is no longer in your life but your mind still won’t let them go — replaying memories, overanalyzing past conversations, or bracing for a blow that isn’t coming — you are not alone. Obsessive thinking after narcissistic abuse is a normal trauma response, not a sign that you miss them or that something is wrong with you. In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down exactly why your brain keeps looping back to the narcissist 24/7, what your nervous system is trying to protect you from, and how trauma bonds + hypervigilance get wired into your body. You’ll learn the steps to interrupt the loop, calm your system, and finally start reclaiming your peace and mental space. This is your guide to taking your mind back — one breath, one shift, one moment of safety at a time. Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching + Somatic Healing For survivors navigating high-conflict co-parenting, emotional chaos, or holiday-triggered anxiety, get personalized support, strategy, and nervous system regulation tools. 1-Month Private Coaching https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Transformational Coaching + Somatic Healing https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Get My Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts Scripts that help you shut down manipulation, stop JADE-ing, and communicate with confidence. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/ Grab the Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free!) Your quick-start guide to setting boundaries without guilt. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Girl, if the narcissist is long gone, but your brain is still acting like they're standing in your kitchen judging the way you slice strawberries. This episode is for you because today we're talking about why your mind won't shut up about them, even though you know they're toxic, they're gone, they're blocked, whatever, and hopefully living their best, irrelevant life. Alright, let's get your peace and your brain back online. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:01) Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. All right, Queens, welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. It's Christy Jade, your coach, your hype woman, your peace protecting partner, most importantly. And today we are going deep into one of the biggest things I hear from survivors. Christie, why am I still thinking about them all the time? I don't even want to. You are not crazy. You're not weak. I'm going to repeat that again. You are not weak. You are not stuck in the past. Even your brain is literally doing exactly what it was trained to do under trauma. (02:02) Today, you're going to understand why this happens. And more importantly, how to stop the obsessive loop so you can reclaim that big, beautiful queen brain of yours. Alright? So the truth that you have never really been told here is the wildest part. Your brain isn't thinking about the narcissist, it's thinking about danger. But because the narcissist was the danger, your brain glued the two together. So during the narcissistic abuse, your nervous system learns, if I don't predict their behavior, I might get hurt. If I don't stay hyper aware, I won't see the next explosion coming. Or if I miss a signal, chaos will hit. So your brain starts scanning, monitoring, remembering, analyzing. Also, you can, it's trying to help you out, sister, okay? But guess what? Your nervous system doesn't just magically unlearn that pattern just because the narcissist is gone. It's like firing a horrible employee. (03:14) But your security alarm still go off every time the wind blows, right? The thread is gone, but the wiring is still on. It's still there. All right? So the three reasons your brain won't let go first, your body is still in survival mode. So hyper vigilance is actually a physical state, not an intellectual decision. So even if you know the narcissist is gone, your nervous system, your body basically has not caught up with that yet. Okay? Two, your brain got addicted ...