186: Repairing Parent-Child Connections with Ashley Gobeil

What if the words you speak in frustration are slowly eroding the relationship you most want to protect? In this deeply honest episode, Dana Kay welcomes back Ashley Gobeil, our resident child and family therapist, to explore how parents can repair, reconnect, and rebuild trust after conflict. Ashley shares why ADHD behaviors are rooted in nervous-system dysregulation and why healing begins when parents learn to co-regulate and model emotional accountability. Together, they unpack why traditional reward and punishment systems backfire, how to set firm yet compassionate boundaries, and what "connection before correction" looks like in everyday moments. Listeners will hear moving examples of repair conversations, simple regulation tools, and encouraging reminders that it's never too late to change the tone in your home. This episode will leave parents feeling seen, hopeful, and empowered to begin healing their own family patterns—one calm, connected moment at a time. Links Mentioned in the Show ▶ ADHD Thrive Jumpstart for Parenting → https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/parenting ▶ Ashley Gobeil → https://ashleychildtherapies.com.au ▶ Parenting ADHD Teens Calmly with Ashley Gobeil - https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/177-parenting-adhd-teens-calmly-with-ashley-gobiel/id1619834565?i=1000728325539 Key Takeaways: [02:35] Kids with ADHD require a different parenting lens rooted in nervous-system awareness. [05:50] Parents co-regulate their children's nervous systems every day. [09:30] Teens turn to peers when trust and repair are missing. [12:45] "Connection before correction" changes the tone of discipline. [18:30] Controlling and fear-based models collapse as teens seek independence. [19:20] How to apologize and repair without losing authority. [25:10] Don't take "I hate you!" personally — hear the emotion beneath the words. [26:50] Why authenticity is more regulating than forced calm. [32:10] Learn your own triggers to break generational cycles. [39:20] Ashley's final tip: "Drop everything and connect — say 'I love you no matter what.'" Memorable Moments: "If I spoke to my friends the way I speak to my child, I'd have no friends left." "We hold the keys to our child's nervous system." "They're not giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time." "It's never too late to repair." "Connection before correction, that phrase will be your friend." "I'd rather parents choose authenticity over calm." "Go connect and say 'I love you no matter what.'" Connect with Ashley: ▶ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/healing_with_ashley ▶ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ashley.gobeil.50 ▶ Website – https://ashleychildtherapies.com.au Dana Kay Resources: 🔗WEBSITES: ▶ https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/ ▶ https://dana-kay.com/ 👋SOCIALS: ▶ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/ ▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/ ▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute ▶ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/ ▶ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/ ▶ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute 📕INTERNATIONAL BEST SELLING BOOK: ▶ Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/ 💻FREE MASTERCLASS ▶ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl ⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS ▶ ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd ▶ ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/