Can’t Go No Contact? How to Stop the Obsessive Thoughts, Calm Your Nervous System & Protect Your Peace Around a Narcissist

Episode Summary If your mind keeps replaying every conversation, argument, or manipulation, you’re not broken — your nervous system is stuck in protection mode. In this episode, Christy Jade explains why obsessive thoughts happen after narcissistic abuse and the exact steps to interrupt the loop so you can finally reclaim your mental space. If you feel mentally hijacked, constantly analyzing them, or exhausted from thoughts you don’t want, this episode will show you how to break the cycle and come back to yourself. What You’ll Learn Why obsessive thinking is a normal trauma response How trauma bonding and hypervigilance keep the loop alive What your brain is trying to protect you from How to interrupt intrusive thoughts without relying on willpower Somatic tools to regulate your nervous system How to restore clarity and stop overthinking Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching and Somatic Healing For survivors who are stuck in loops, overwhelmed, or ready to finally rebuild peace and self-trust with real support and structure. 1-Month Coaching (Private Support & Nervous System Reset) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Coaching (Deep Healing, Identity Rebuild, Full Transformation) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Paid Resource: Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts If overthinking or panic about how to respond is feeding your mental spiral, these scripts stop it instantly. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course 10 video modules, meditation bundle, and lifetime access. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Free Resource: Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Mama, if you've tried journaling, blocking, deleting, praying, meditating, and you still cannot stop thinking about the narcissist, especially when you can't go no contact because of the kids, court, family, or finances, this episode is going to be a little lifeline for you. Okay? I'm going to break down why your brain won't let go, and the steps to stop the obsessive thoughts. Calm that cute little nervous system of yours and reclaim your peace. Remember your peace bubble. You know about that? Yeah. We want to get your peace bubble on, okay? Even if you're still in contact like frequently. Okay, here we go. (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) All right, Queens, let's go there. Alright, you're not obsessed, you're not weak, you're not crazy. Well, maybe a little crazy, but the good crazy, like my kind of crazy. I like your crazy. Okay, alright. Your brain is actually doing exactly what a brain does when it's been trapped in a cycle of trauma plus unpredictability. Okay? So here's what's happening. We're going to do the queen breakdown. Number one, the threat detector part of your brain. It's still on patrol, it's still out there with its shield, with its sword, it's ready. So when you have to share a child, a house, a calendar school event, your brain is scanning, what will their mood be like today? Will they explode? Will they pull something? This is hypervigilance, and it's not like your character flaw, it's just survival mode, what you've been conditioned to do. Number two, your nervous system is addicted to the pattern, so it's not addicted to them. (02:51) This is a misconception. You're not really addicted to them. You have been, again, kind of conditioned to be addicted to the cycle, the anticipation, the crash, the tiny breadcrumbs of calm that can happen here and there. Your body learned to stay ready. So that leads us to number three, this lack of closure that keeps that loop spinning, right? That addictive loop. So narcissists don't give real endings. They don't give apologies, especially legit ones. They might really fake it. They don't give ownership accountability, and they sure as hell don't give the truth. So your brain keeps searching for what it never got and it is still not getting. Number four, if you cannot go no contact, ...