Episode 154 - Assertive, Not Abrasive: Lessons in Leadership with Dr. Julie Gurner

On this episode, Dr. Julie Gurner, executive performance coach and author of the Ultra Successful Substack newsletter, to unpack one of the most misunderstood traits in leadership: assertiveness.

Most people equate assertiveness with rudeness — especially when it comes from women. But as Dr. Gurner explains, assertiveness is simply clarity — the opposite of expecting people to read your mind. The two discuss how emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and ownership separate high performers from those who stay stuck in their comfort zones.

• Why being assertive isn’t the same as being abrasive
• How fear of judgment keeps professionals from being direct
• The myth of “micromanagement” and what clarity actually looks like
• How emotional intelligence shapes perception of leadership styles
• Why clarity builds trust faster than politeness ever will
• The danger of surrounding yourself with excuse-makers
• Why growth plateaus are rarely caused by markets — and usually by mindsets

Dr. Gurner also dives into limiting beliefs and the power of an internal locus of control, showing how elite performers take total ownership of outcomes — good or bad. Monique adds her own experiences leading teams across industries, from engineering to beauty and wellness, highlighting the real-world tension between intention, perception, and leadership maturity.

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Follow Dr. Julie Gurner

On Substack: https://substack.com/@drgurner

Website: https://ultrasuccessful.com/

Follow Monique Mills

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moniquemills/

Bio Website: https://moniquemills.biz/

TPM Focus - Strategy Firm for Startups and SMBs: https://tpmfocus.com/

Become an Unpolished MBA Guest: https://unpolishedmba.com