198 | the role of parents as co-regulators for autistic children with Lisa Candera

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

In this episode, Dr. Tay emphasizes the importance of supporting parents in the autistic journey. Joined by Lisa Candera, a single mom and coach for parents of autistic children, they discuss the role of parents as primary co-regulators for their children as well as strategies for staying regulated, building self-trust, and supporting their children's behaviors. They also explore systemic issues, coping mechanisms, and the need for a holistic approach that includes listening to autistic voices. Despite the focus on parents, the core message underscores the importance of a balanced support system for the entire family unit.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:28 Lisa Candera's Background and Passion

00:45 The Role of Parents in Autism Support

01:28 Podcast Introduction and Disclaimer

02:30 Lisa's Journey as a Single Mom

05:25 Challenges and Early Diagnosis

06:48 Navigating Resources and Support Systems

08:27 The Importance of Parental Education

16:04 Understanding OCD and Autism

22:59 Coaching and Self-Regulation

28:21 Understanding the Distinctness of OCD

28:30 The Complexity of Compulsions

29:01 Parental Instincts and Fix-It Mode

29:31 The Illogical Nature of OCD

30:06 OCD and Autism: The Just Right Feeling

31:22 Building Acceptance in Parenting

32:22 The Psychological Definition of Acceptance

33:46 Behavioral Issues and Parental Pressure

35:05 Supporting Parents: Tips and Strategies

37:24 Validating Experiences Before Problem Solving

38:01 Common Challenges and Seeking Support

39:21 Navigating Grief and Acceptance

40:02 Ambiguous Grief and GOMO

41:17 Being the Safe Person and Self-Advocacy

44:31 Parental Regulation and Child's Behavior

46:36 Building a Well-Rounded Support Team

48:29 The Power of Tone and Voice

52:12 Conclusion and Resources

RESOURCES

⚡️ Continue learning from Lisa Candera at theautismmomcoach.com/ and @theautismmomcoach on Instagram and Facebook

⚡️ Download the Meltdown Action Plan

⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.

⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay