#111 - Why You Should Have a Funeral {Reflections}

Grief doesn’t disappear when we ignore it; it grows quieter and heavier. Today we talk candidly about funerals—why they matter, who they’re actually for, and how ritual gives our bodies and communities a way to carry loss with honesty and love. Ryan shares the tender story of his dad’s passing and the family’s plans to lay him to rest in Denver, then opens up about a hard truth learned during the pandemic: when we skip communal mourning, grief lingers without form.

We explore the deep roots of funeral practices, from traces of pollen in ancient burial caves to the modern mix of readings, music, prayers, and shared meals. Along the way, we unpack the language we use—funeral, memorial, celebration of life—and why the labels matter far less than the space they create. Sadness isn’t a problem to fix; it’s a sign of love. The best services make room for both tears and laughter, for hilarious family stories and quiet moments of reflection, because that’s what a real life looks like.

If you’re planning a service, you’ll hear practical guidance on shaping a gathering that fits your family: invite participation, set gentle rhythms, let someone trusted guide the flow, and close with a grounded act like a graveside farewell or a shared meal. We also talk about how community presence, scripture or poetry, and simple rituals help move us from shock toward steadier gratitude. Funerals aren’t for the dead—they’re for the living, and they work on us in profound, often hidden ways.

If this conversation helps you or someone you love, share it with a friend who needs courage for a goodbye. Subscribe for more reflections, leave a review to support the show, and tell us: what ritual helped your grief take a breath?

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