17. Why Were They Willing to Sacrifice Me?

What if the moment you chose yourself was the moment they turned against you?

In this episode, Lola joins Helen to share her story of surviving an emotionally abusive marriage and the painful fallout that followed. Raised in a household where love came with conditions and silence was expected, Lola entered her first long-term relationship as a teenager. What followed was years of emotional entrapment, manipulation, and failed attempts to leave, all under the weight of cultural and family pressure.

When Lola finally made the decision to walk away, she was met with humiliation, rejection, and a devastating lack of support. She describes the isolation that followed, including being gaslit, coerced into couples therapy, and eventually made homeless. Yet through it all, she held on to a quiet determination to survive and rebuild. Now living abroad with her independence reclaimed, Lola reflects on the emotional toll of reactive abuse, self-blame, and the fear of connection after betrayal.

This is a powerful conversation about scapegoating, identity loss, and the slow work of self-trust. With clarity and courage, Lola shares what it means to heal on your own terms and find safety after being told you do not deserve it.

Content warning: This episodes contains discussions of coercive control and emotional abuse.

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