Blame Isn’t the Answer | Ephesians 4:31–32

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31–32 NLT)

Frederic the Great, the king of Prussia, once visited a prison and talked with each of the inmates. He heard countless tales of innocence, exploitation, and misunderstood motives. If the prisoners were to be believed, no one in the prison was guilty. Each convict had been framed or set up.

Finally, the king stopped at the cell of a convict who stared at him silently. Frederic said, “Well, I suppose you are an innocent victim, too.”

“No, sir,” the prisoner replied, “I’m not. I am guilty, and I deserve my punishment.”

Turning to the warden, Frederic said, “Quick, get this man out of here before he corrupts these other innocent people.” Frederic the Great couldn’t believe he had found an honest man—someone who would own up to what he had done wrong.

Do you need to own up to something you’ve done? Or are you playing the blame game, as the prisoners did? It’s a tempting strategy—and a popular one. When politicians, public officials, or celebrities get caught doing something wrong, they all seem to have ready-made stories about their innocence and about the involvement of others. They’re only too happy to point fingers.

Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:31–32 give us insight into God’s attitude toward finger-pointing—that is, get rid of it.

Charles Swindoll summarized blame this way: “Blame never affirms, it assaults. Blame never restores, it wounds. Blame never solves, it complicates. Blame never unites, it separates. Blame never smiles, it frowns. Blame never forgives, it rejects. Blame never forgets, it remembers. Blame never builds, it destroys.”

We could add to that list, “Blame never convinces God; it makes you look bad in His eyes.” In Psalm 139:7–8, David wrote, “I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there” (NLT). His point is that nothing can be hidden from God. God sees everything. He doesn’t look in another direction when you point fingers because He already knows what you’ve done.

Spiritually speaking, blame is a stall tactic. You blame others because you don’t want to own up to your guilt. Maybe it’s pride that causes you to look for scapegoats; maybe it’s denial. Whatever the cause, the longer you insist on blaming others and denying your guilt, the longer your guilt disrupts your relationship with your heavenly Father.

The apostle John wrote, “If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts” (1 John 1:8–10 NLT). God already knows what you’ve done. And He stands ready to forgive and forget it.

Sooner or later, you have to say, “I have sinned. I have done wrong. The problem is me.” The moment you stop blaming and accept full responsibility for your actions is the moment you start to heal.

Reflection question: How do you avoid the temptation to blame others when you do wrong?

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