Because someone’s gotta win wars… from the recliner. A veteran’s hilarious love letter to the Air Force. We may have jets, tech, and lattes — but trust me, nobody roasts the Air Force like an Airman can. Buckle up, buttercups.

(Verse 1)
We show up to war in pressed OCPs,
Sippin’ oat milk lattes, adjustin’ TVs.
While the Navy’s at sea and the Marines storm the shore,
We’re arguin’ WiFi at the chow hall door.

Boot camp? Yeah, it was rough,
Missin’ Starbucks was pretty tough.
Eight weeks of sunscreen and hotel beds,
Graduated basic with perfectly gelled heads.

(Chorus)
We’re the Air Force, high-horse, cappuccino sippin’,
Deployin’ drones while the PT test’s slippin’.
Other branches call us soft, spoiled, and sweet,
But we own the skies while they march on their feet.
We’ve got acronyms you can’t decode,
We’re masters of PowerPoint overload.
Chair Force, best course, fly, fight, win —
And make sure the DFAC has vegan in!

(Verse 2)
We wear flight suits to meetings just to flex,
Even if we ain’t flown since the Y2K checks.
We salute smart — from the AC vent,
And spend half the day at “Readiness Events.”

Got a 4-star hotel on TDY,
Per diem stackin’ while we’re “gettin’ by.”
Tech sergeants briefin’ like NASA pros,
But can’t fix the printer — everybody knows.

(Bridge)
The Marines lift iron, the Navy lifts sails,
We lift morale with Netflix fails.
The Coast Guard’s savin’ lives off the coast,
We’re calculating hazard pay while we post.

(Final Chorus)
We’re the Air Force, high-horse, cappuccino sippin’,
Deployin’ drones while the PT test’s slippin’.
Other branches call us soft, spoiled, and sweet,
But we own the skies while they march on their feet.
We’ve got acronyms you can’t decode,
We’re masters of PowerPoint overload.
Chair Force, best course, fly, fight, win —
And don’t forget my oat milk in!

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