IF YOU READ THIS BOOK YOU'RE GAY

You didn’t mean to open this book.

You probably paused. Maybe frowned. Maybe smirked. Maybe thought, “That’s dumb.”
And yet… here you are.

This book exists for one reason: curiosity always wins.

If You Read This Book You’re Gay is not about sexuality, identity, or labels. It’s about the strange, universal human impulse to click things we were explicitly told not to click. It’s about headlines that hijack your attention, social rules that collapse under scrutiny, and the quiet internal voice that says, “I just want to see what this is.”

Written in a sharp, self-aware, fourth-wall-breaking style, this book turns the act of reading itself into the joke. Every page gently escalates the premise, not by attacking anyone, but by playfully pointing out that you knew exactly what you were doing when you kept going.

This is satire built for the modern internet age. It’s fast, clever, ironic, and deliberately ridiculous. Short chapters. Fake rules. Mock warnings. Overconfident conclusions. The narrator treats your continued reading as irrefutable evidence while constantly reminding you that none of this actually matters.

And that’s the point.

The humor isn’t loud or mean. It’s sly. It creeps up on you. It works whether you read one page or the whole thing. It’s the kind of book people screenshot, quote, and send to friends with zero explanation.

You don’t need to agree with anything.
You don’t need to defend yourself.
You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

You just need to be honest about one thing:

You opened the book.

Perfect for fans of:
• Meta humor and absurdist satire
• Internet culture and clickbait commentary
• Books that don’t take themselves seriously
• People who enjoy being lightly roasted without being insulted
• Anyone who’s ever said, “I just wanted to see what it was about”

This book does not lecture.
It does not preach.
It does not try to be important.

It simply sits back, observes human behavior, and lets the reader do the rest.

And if you stop reading now, that’s fine.

But if you don’t…
Well.

That’s on you.