Alchemist for Hire

Chronicles of Eldhjarta - Pre-Quest

De: Devon Van De Zandt

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

“I’m telling the truth. I mean it. It's hard to believe you're so beautiful, especially when you said your mother is half-harpy, and I can see that your father looks like a badger that’s been dead for a month,” Tosh said, noticing the King Sigread standing behind him. “With all due respect, Your Majesty.”

Do you revel in tales that dance on the edge of the conventional? Stories that question the world's absurdities and are laced with dad jokes so cringe-worthy they’re brilliant? If that's your kind of story, then you’re in for a delightfully unconventional treat.

Embark on the 'epic' saga of the Eldhjartan Empire’s rise, set in a world where magic beckons the brave and tempts the foolish. Meet Tosh S. Stitten: alchemist by trade, con artist by nature. On a quest to pull off a heist for the ages in Z'ahatum, the Darkhome, Tosh faces a den of nefarious evils.

Tosh’s motley crew is a spectacle in itself. There’s Eire, a half-harpy, half-witch with a touch of chaos and self-doubt, bending the unpredictable to their favor. Cavil, the elf-naturist mage with an ego greater than his libido, brings fierce magical prowess to the table. And then there's Timo-pek, an assassin whose age is as deceptive as his skill with locks and stealth.

But what’s a quest without a king? Enter King Sigread Fireheart, living his life as if in a grand, third-person narrative. He’s banking on Tosh and his eclectic team to secure an artifact that could tip the scales of power and immortalize him as THE Emperor of legend.

Prepare for a narrative journey that skates the razor edge between epic grandeur and absurd hilarity. This tale takes itself seriously enough to be gripping, yet is sprinkled with enough whimsy to be endlessly entertaining. Dive into a world where fantasy and reality blur, and where the true story – and its life lessons – lie subtly woven between the lines. Can you uncover them?