A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE

philosophical essays

De: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

And what if one day … after stop loving someone that you liked so, so much … you decide to replace that big whole from your soul with loving all the people from the timeline of your life?!

Today i believe that to understand the life itself we need to experience … love … in whatever form it might appear to us.
It sounds weird, or even as a total nonsense … but in the end … following the paths of life …. I always realized that everything comes by itself.
Not so long time ago, before becoming 40 …. I heard lots of strange ideas about the change is happening in man’s perspective about life … the next second he comes to this age.
In fact … the truth is that only 2 versions worth to be mentioned … and i saw that at all my friends that had this age.
One theory was that we start to have all types of medical problems … and the other one was that the man starts to be obsessed by love … love stories …. and all the women from the timeline of his life.
I never had medical problems in my life … so i totally ignored the first theory ….and on another hand, working in sales for more than 20 years … i met thousands of ladies … but never had the intention to cheat my wife.
So … i totally ignored both theories, but just few days before becoming 40 … a very beautiful lady … appeared in my life.
She was the most unexpected person i could dream that i would start a love story with … but … it happened.
The theory was right … or at least one of it.
I fell in love … with that amazing soul … and i started to write all my feelings and everything related to us.
I wrote so much … that one day i realized that i published 10 books carrying the word … love … inside of the title.
But … same as any other story from the history of the human being … my love story had a beginning, the story itself …. and the end.
Today … looking back in time, i see just the 10 books i wrote … but i would not like to read them again.
Never …
In my last book about love stories … “Loving, but not understanding where the love goes” … the last 2 essays i wrote tell everything it was in my heart and soul … “I miss you a lot, but i don’t want you back in my life! Never again!”
… and “Awakening can be obtained at the end of the love story!”.
I left the love story dissatisfied of all happened … but still … i was chasing for love.
Getting back into her arms … was useless.
I knew it … and even if i lied myself for such a long time … she was the same as my wife … a shrew … or at least this is how i saw both of them.
I decided to let my life continue … near my family, totally forgetting the love story …. but still not ignoring my huge desire for … love.
The smaller kid ….told me one day while arguing with my wife … “ You are not allowed to leave us. You are our parents and you don’t have the right to do that.”
Ignoring those words … was equal with betrayal.
…. A huge one.
So i remained near my wife and kids … doing my duty, understanding the dharmic side of life … but still something was whispering me all the time …”love, love, love, love … love ….”
I thought i need to find another lady … but my wife was paying attention now to any small detail … so i could not repeat the love story i had with that crazy lady.
I was meditating a lot.
On the scene of my life, i met lots of other people in the same situation as myself … that ended the love story and …. somehow started to be in a relationship with themselves.
They discovered a new path …. the one of self love.
But i did not know anything about the subject … and not even wanted to bother becoming more profound and connected to myself.