Derek Haines
AUTHOR

Derek Haines

Derek Haines is an author of quite a number of books, however, he spends most of his time blogging, making technology go horribly wrong, and being a rather senior ESL English teacher.

Born in Australia, but now living in Switzerland with his wife and his black Cocker Spaniel, he passes many hours, trying to make technology work again, after inadvertently breaking it. It's a painful process, yet it's such an effective self-study method in acquiring new technological skills.

As I'm a writer - I can change adroitly from the third person into the first person, and say that I love what I do and where I live, and also, that I am a Douglas Adams fanatic, bordering on a tragic. So much so, that by some spooky coincidence, my street address is 42. That's so much more impressive than simply owning a towel and having ready access to peanuts and beer.

However, peanuts and beer are extremely important, as they provide essential sustenance during my bouts of obsessive writing, which although rare, usually take place in a horizontal position.
I should mention here that I am very fond of acronyms, anagrams, allegories and alliteration, also.

In addition, I quite like commas. The Oxford type, or otherwise. However, quite perversely, I am not enamoured by quotation marks. I use them, singularly if possible, but even then, only under sufferance. As for semicolons; who really knows how to use them?

Aside from my never-ending punctuation conundrums, I enjoy life, good food, wine, beer, and I take each day as it comes - thankfully.

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Best Sellers

    • One Last Love

    • By: Derek Haines
    • Narrated by: Harry Roger Williams III
    • Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 15
    • Performance
      4 out of 5 stars 15
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 15

    For Bonnie, his life had been lived, and the bittersweet memories of his wife, along with the neverending sorrow of losing his son so young remain with him, but they are now ebbing away slowly with the passing of the years. His days of love, warmth, and tenderness well past....

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • Touching Love Story.

    • By cosmitron on 04-22-18

    Regular price: $14.95

    • February the Fifth: The First Hilarious Glothic Tale

    • The Glothic Tales, Book 1
    • By: Derek Haines
    • Narrated by: Persephone Rose
    • Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4.5 out of 5 stars 8
    • Performance
      5 out of 5 stars 8
    • Story
      4.5 out of 5 stars 8

    In a remarkable turn of events, a young man with a lot definitely not going for him manages to come to terms with a startling reality. He has to grow up....

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • Give the Author a sigar!

    • By Keith LaDue on 04-12-19

    Regular price: $19.95

    • My Take Away Vampire

    • A Novella with Bite
    • By: Derek Haines
    • Narrated by: Persephone Rose
    • Length: 1 hr and 51 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      3.5 out of 5 stars 15
    • Performance
      4 out of 5 stars 15
    • Story
      3.5 out of 5 stars 15

    After a long and predictable vampiric existence, trouble is now afoot for Agatha Grace. Redheaded, freckled, and occasionally slow on the uptake, young Reggie stumbles into Agatha’s predictability and turns it on its head as he is struck by his first real dose of love at first sight....

    • 4 out of 5 stars
    • IT'S GOT BITE!

    • By Victoria Haugen on 08-13-18

    Regular price: $6.95

    • The Adventures of Hal

    • The Second Glothic Tale
    • By: Derek Haines
    • Narrated by: Persephone Rose
    • Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    As so often happens, just when you think things are beautifully perfect, someone or something comes along to throw a spanner in the works. In Hal’s case, his idyllic life gets hit by a number of airborne wrenches....

    Regular price: $19.95

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