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4.0 out of 5 starsa collection of insights on how to move beyond your pain
Reviewed in the United States on September 18, 2021
I’m a big fan of Dr. Gibson books on emotionally immature parents. I’ve read A LOT of psychology books and none have described my childhood situation better than hers. My parents weren’t bad people. They weren’t unfair or insensitive. They just lived unexamined lives that were deeply flawed in their logic. So, it’s been up to me to understand where the dysfunction and delusion lies within my life and then to re-raise myself, developing a realistic and sympathetic internal voice. This book is a different approach for Dr. Gibson. Instead of looking back, she looks forward. Each chapter is brief and anchored by an analogy or an insight. It’s not as intense as the other books. It didn’t rock my world. But, it helped me to take more baby steps in the right direction.
Reviewed in the United States on September 12, 2021
I am never not amazed by this lady's fascinating insight, intelligence and breath of knowledge. As well as her ability to make it all so intelligible. I have all her books, and rarely, have i read material so on the nose about the human condition. This new gem so no different. Exceptional. Cheers to Lindsay.
Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2021
This is wonderfully practical, useful information for people who may not have had emotional intelligence modeled or taught to them as children. It's broken into manageable sections and topics, so the reader can really delve into each piece and work through each concept without getting overwhelmed.
I really appreciated the affirmation that "DNA is not a life sentence" and that family, and the toxic pattens it may contain, isn't something that is inescapable. I also liked the distinction made between self-care and self-indulgence, which is as important lesson to absorb. The section on how to approach children/parenting is also very valuable for those who want to create new stories going forward.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!
5.0 out of 5 starsA brilliantly useful guide without match
Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2021
Dr Gibson's third book about emotionally immature parents is a gift to anyone who ever felt like their parents put their own needs first. After reading her first two books, I felt like Dr Gibson understood my experience growing up. Having read this book, I feel like I'm newly empowered to take control of my own recovery from my upbringing. There is no better resource than this series of books. Easy-to-read, digest, and implement into my daily life, this book should be read by anyone who had this kind of parent.
5.0 out of 5 starsAnother excellent book by this author
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2021
I was a huge fan of Lindsay Gibson’s first book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. When I saw that she had written a new book on the same topic, I was eager to read it but because her first book had been so in-depth I was skeptical about whether it would cover any new ground.
It turns out I needn’t have worried because as I found out after finishing Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence, Dr. Gibson has a wealth of new information to share. In her first book, the author focused on helping readers understand the characteristics and parenting styles of emotionally immature parents and their effect on the now-adult children they raised.
Her new book is a natural followup in that it focuses on adult survivors (like me) who were raised by emotionally immature parents and offers practical and insightful guidance on a wide range of issues such as dealing with difficult people, building better relationships with ourselves, how to cope with stress and set boundaries, and, most importantly - at least for me - how to self-nurture.
The author has an excellent writing style that is both down-to-earth and empathetic. As someone who myself often thinks and speaks in metaphors, I was pleased at Dr. Gibson’s use of metaphor. For example, she equates the damaging parenting style of emotionally immature parents to, among other things, programming their children’s lives with malware. She also provides reassurance that “DNA is not a life sentence” and assures us that just because one was raised in a toxic home does not mean that one is doomed to never have a normal and happy life.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional home and was forced to not only parent themselves but also forced into spending their childhood parenting the people who were supposed to be parenting them.
Reviewed in the United States on September 8, 2021
Lindsay C. Gibson's 'Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents struck a chord with me. I was a young mother, and made some of the parenting errors that I read about in this book, as did my parents before me. No one enters parenthood with the idea that they are going to mess up their children, and yet we all walk away from childhood with some strong thoughts about what we will do differently with our children. As I read this, it occurred to me that understanding the lessons from this book could help me be a better person in all aspects of my life, both at work and at home. When you have clarity on what behaviours people who had emotionally immature parents may engage in, it is easier to address those behaviours with compassion. It is also easier to establish healthier relationships with our children and our parents when we see cause and effect from a 3rd party perspective. I found myself thinking, "Dang, I did that" and "Oh, that happened to me". I have explored the topic of emotional intelligence, and seeing the flip side of the coin laid out so well was insightful.