I really wanted to like this book. I really want to cheer for a new author, but I really felt it needed a lot of editing. I’m finding a huge difference between
the self published books on amazon vs big publishing house authors.
Polish. Fine tuned. Clean.
This book lacks that from the story itself, to the flow, to the language used, to the missing words. The grammar was not as bad as some self published books I’ve read on Amazon recently but it still had instances of missing words. I don’t like to play fill in the blanks while reading. I don’t know if these self published authors aren’t spending the money to hire professionals editors which is expensive. Most books should have multiple edits (for story, flow, grammar, spelling ect) totaling a typical cost of over $3000. So I suspect many self published authors aren’t spending the money on that.
Too much of the story is telling not showing.
There was also too much that was contrived and unrealistic in this story. It made it unbelievable.
I almost set this book down after chapter one. Not much of a spoiler: this happened on like page 15. The sex was not what most would consider consensual. That’s a problem. The hero claimed he’d been without too long to stop once he realized she was a virgin and likely not consenting. That’s rape and rape apology. Sure totally acceptable I’m 1067. Not acceptable in 2021. The whole idea that a man can’t stop is ridiculous and not acceptable that is pure rape apology and has no place in a book written now.
I found it hard to believe that a night of questionably consensual sex formed a bond between the characters.
There was also too much pointless sex in this book. It becomes repetitive and unnecessary. The number of scenes could be cut in half easily.
The story has potential. This author has potential. I think with some real edits this book could be a 5. As it stands it’s barely a three.
I hope this doesn’t discourage the author if she reads this review but helps her become a better writer because clearly she’s got some talent and passion.