I thought I was listening well but my girlfriend kept telling me I wasn’t listening to her. So I looked for a book that would help. This book is very “to the point” which I appreciate. Not a lot of wasted pages and words, just straight to clear instructions of how to change my approach to conversations. Watch for words I use that shift the focus away from her and to me (avoid those words). Identify her emotions and label them, say things like “it sounds like you feel (fill in the blank)” and then “if I were in your shoes I would feel the same way”. Those are just a couple examples from this book.
It worked like magic! The past couple weeks my girlfriend has said things like “thanks for being such a good listener”, which is the opposite of what she had been saying the past several months.