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3.0 out of 5 stars I want to love it, but I just can't....
Reviewed in the United States on June 25, 2018
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First let me say I am reading this book as a never married Christian lady near 40. I also want to explain that I am a person who grew up in church faithfully and was in Christian school from pre-school to completion of my masters degree. This book has some elements that are very different from the typical Christian dating book but then some of the same old, same old that comes up in every other book.

The good...the author does a wonderful job of telling the reader that you can't depend on a spouse to make your life complete or happy. So many Christian books either imply or actually go out and say happiness comes from a Christian family. I applaud the author for not going into that trap! As a person in the field of Psychology (well formerly) I must say she also does a great job describing codependency/trust issues. That is a huge hang up in many relationships and the author does do a good job of addressing it.

The bad.... to me the author tells way too many stories of her own fairytale like relationship. God works in ways in which I don't understand. There will be readers who either read this bawling or readers who will mistakenly assume follow this plan and this is what will happen. I have done above and beyond on what a Christian person should do to attract a Godly spouse and so far, no fairytale. The author also uses a lot of client experiences as sorta negatives. Not something that you should see from a counselor.

I also found the author's use of the word loved, especially in a Christian context, pretty rough. I also felt like the author joined the ranks of most other Christian dating books in painting a "Godly guy/gal" with an almost fairytale brush. Sure, some folks find a spouse that perfectly fits the description. But I personally know so many folks who thought they were marrying a "Godly guy/gal" only to find themselves (or children) in an abusive marriage. The author used a story where this guy is at a Bible conference event and fell in love at first sight with this godly girl. You may be instantly attracted to someone and but you can not love someone at first sight. Love is a choice and love requires knowing a person. This fellow may have felt attraction to this lady but he did not fall in love with her at first sight. I felt that too much emphasis was on seeing these folks at Christian events and these folks being religious. Living for Christ doesn't always mean saying the churchy things at the Christian events. I felt this may leave readers assuming finding what looks like a "Godly guy/girl" at a Christian event means they will make a great Christian spouse. There are guys in frat houses that would never treat women as bad or be as promiscuous as some men in the ministry do/are.

I like this book in that it doesn't focus on marriage completing a person. But, I feel like this author used the book as to tell her lovely story as a "this is how God works" narrative. I also feel that like so many other Christian books this pushes daters into being extremely naive about folks that do churchy type things.
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Donna DaCosta
5.0 out of 5 stars Every single person should read this.
Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2016
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I originally ordered this book to help my daughter in her choice of men to date and ordered one for myself so that we could talk about it. I was a widow and really had no interest in dating, but I read it anyway and did all of the exercises they recommended. What I didn't realize is that this book was intended to help sort out what is the most important things that a person wants and to help them sort out their own issues without looking for someone to fulfill all of their needs. It was quite soul-searching which was a paradigm shift from what I thought a "dating" book would offer. The funny thing is that after doing all of the exercises, I was able to know for sure when I met my future husband that I had found the right man for me. Yes, I ended to remarrying after finding a man who was a perfect match for me. I can't say enough about the appropriateness of this book for any young or old person who wants a relationship to last.
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Paul M Smith
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for Long-lasting Healthy Relationships
Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2016
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This book is life-changing. I do not say that lightly either. It does an excellent job of helping individuals learn about themselves which is someone we tend to forget about as we pursue finding someone to have a relationship. The concepts and ideas to help shift our perspective and better understand is great. Then to learn about what makes a healthy relationship and the steps to go about making the relationship healthy are vital principles to help put the relationship in a strong position for success. Finally to learn the ways that we can honor God and understand our purpose that God has determined for us is shared as well and the perspective we can learn to take about God's role in our lives and our relationship.

The book will leave you inspired and give you the confidence necessary to enter the dating world. It will press things on your heart that will in time provide a better understanding of who you are, your value, and how to love yourself. It will give you a Godly perspective on what makes a healthy relationship including the growing stages of a relationship and what could be experienced as you reach those stages. Not to mention, learning the tools for productive, loving communication which is vital in growing closer together and handling conflict properly.

If you seek to have a relationship go the distance, this is the book that will help lead you in that direction!!

God Bless Debra for the impact she is making!
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Top reviews from other countries

Joshua Smith
5.0 out of 5 stars Literally helped to change my life for the better!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 10, 2016
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I bought this book last year when I was 16, I thought it would help me to find that perfect relationship.. I started to read it and it is was blown away with how well this book seemed to know me! It helped explain things I had struggled with for a long time and gave me a totally fresh perspective on all types of relationships in my life.

But no this book didn't show me the path to find "the one" but it certainly did teach me to look inward to mature my life in many ways with God's help. So that I can one day be that one for someone else.

I read this book again a few months ago then I bought 2 copies for my friends.. I highly recommend for anyone no matter what your relationship status. If you read this book with a totally honest heart. It will impact you for good.
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Claire Laxton
1.0 out of 5 stars What you’d expect from a 21st Centuary Evangelical; not much
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 17, 2018
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Good for it’s message that you should know and love yourself before leaning on someone else, misses the mark on the rest of it; lack nuance and encourages a cookie cutter approach to dating.
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B.E
4.0 out of 5 stars Good practical book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 22, 2014
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This book is well written with real life practical examples from the life of the writer and many others, which one can not take for granted. It lays down the facts and allows you to choose. It also has an excellent FAQs section which is ideal and very helpful. It's not just a book that you put down when finished, but like it says it is a guide... To be referred to again and again
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kwesi darkwa
5.0 out of 5 stars Cheers
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 6, 2019
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Great Book...Read it in 2013...never finished it properly...I am married now! Cheers Debra!
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Amanda H.
5.0 out of 5 stars God wants us to love!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 5, 2017
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If you're thinking about love and finding a new partner after hurt and confusion from past relationships, then this book is for you.
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