The first 20% of the novel is character development for the main character (MC), Michael. It’s not bad. The real life story of a teen with cerebral palsy who feels like a burden to his parents. The costs of his physical therapy are creating both a finacial and relationship strain on his parents. The MC buys a VR system with his after school job money hoping to just escape his life and feel normal. It a well written section, that makes the small town the MC lives in feel fleshed out. The judgmental attitude of others, the MCs frustrations with his life and his parents.
However, once he get into the game world, the writing takes a serious nose dive in terms of both quality and content. The game world isn’t described well, the dialogue feels forced and awkward.
(Excerpt: “‘Excuse us, do you mind give us a second to talk privately?” Komodo said politely.” ) Not only that but there’s a lot of technical writing problems. Missing words, wrong words used (Through instead of threw), and bad sentence structure.
On the game mechanics side, there’s not really one. The story is definitely set in a VR game world. The word “level” is used, but it doesn’t mean much. In his first fight, at level 2, the MC kills a character much higher level with a single attack. He then skips ahead in the space of a paragraph to level 30. There’s no other game mechanics in the story. No character sheets, stats, health bars, ability descriptions, item descriptions. None.
The game story itself is also weak. There’s a contest to defeat this bad monster. Honestly, not even worth mentioning. Fairly boring.
Overall, outside the decent real world beginning, the story was boring. The almost non-existent game mechanics and repeated technical errors knocked it down another point for me.
Score: 4 out of 10