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5.0 out of 5 starsI cannot give this book enough stars! Looking for a long term relationship? You want to read it!
Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2018
This information is written by the best experts in the field. The authors have had extensive experience with high conflict personalities in the family law, divorce mediation, as well as in counseling and psychological services. Valuable book. Valuable information even if one is NOT dating, and especially if one is in a relationship that causes one to question one's own 'sanity'. It is about high conflict personalities....invaluable book that details and compares different high conflict personalities, lists identifying behaviors and time lines in which behaviors chang. It provides real-life stories to exemplify the 'unreal' and 'surreal' situations in which others have found themselves, sometimes a little too late.This is an important book for anyone who is considering a relationship and will reveal warning signs, your own blind spots and how someone may 'jam your radar', during the relationship building process. I would recommend this book also to instructors, counselors, mediators.
5.0 out of 5 starsTop 5 reasons I LOVE Dating Radar and HIGHLY recommend it!!
Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2017
1. It took years for me to find the correct vocabulary to describe the insanity of my "high-conflict" divorce to myself. Once I did, then I stopped blaming myself; at least some of the time. 2. The vocabulary from this book is invaluable when trying to describe the insanity of a "high'conflict" divorce and to be HEARD in the court system, social service agencies and the public who unfortunately get intertwinned in this divorce chaos. This chaos is not my fault and the messages in the book will empower parents trapped in custody and parenting court battles that last several years. 3. As my children grow into young adults and are waking up to the insanity of life with a narcissistic/borderline personality possibly Asperger's father, this book will serve as a guide. I love how the book repeatedly says to learn about your own Blind Spots! 4. The book is EASY to READ and an awesome reference guide that belongs on the shelf of every person who is involved with people with apparant high conflict personalities. I'd like to buy each of my lawyers, and I've had many over 10 years, police officers, teachers and many social workers and those working in mental health professions a copy of this book! 5. Finally, page 87 is the book in a nutshell. . . check it out and I love page 92 as I have never heard the term ANIXETY MONSTER and the explanation is brilliant!! Worth a peek!! Thank you Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter!!
I was looking forward to this book being published and I'm thrilled with it! My daughter is once divorced from a narcissist and now that she is dating again, this book will help prevent her from another mistake. It's an easy read ... the print is not too small. The first part of the book is great to help you recognize and provide you with insights about yourself - your vulnerabilities - and what type of personalities will be 'attracted' to you (and that may not be good). The rest of the book describes in detail how to recognize and avoid people with personality disorders. Personality disorders are not rare like you may think, 6% of adults have a narcissistic disorder (not just narcissistic traits)(fear of being inferior), 6% have a borderline personality disorder (fear of being abandoned), 4% are sociopaths (fear of being dominated), 2% are histrionic (fear of being ignored), and other high conflict people - addicts, bi-polar, paranoid. Its OK to have empathy for these people, they did not choose to have these disorders, they suffer from it and typically don't have the ability to even recognize or accept that they have it. But don't get involved with them... you cannot 'fix' them! They can be charismatic, charming, work regular jobs and perform well. These traits are HARD TO RECOGNIZE, and that why this book is critical. Please read it and save yourself from the agony of divorce.
Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2017
A great read on how to avoid life draining relationships. Though some of the content is common sense and repetitive, it really goes into depth of why we ignore all the warning signs and get into relationships with the “devil” as some of us would claim. This is a good read for teenagers and anyone eager for love, and others who constantly find themselves attracting the wrong individuals time and time again.
4.0 out of 5 starsI felt like I read essentially the same paragraphs maybe 10 times ...
Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2017
Interesting self-help book with stories that were all too familiar. There was a lot of repetition in the 'how they slip past your radar' and similar sections that made it a very slow read, I felt like I read essentially the same paragraphs maybe 10 times on my way through the book. I would have benefitted more if there were more true stories of HCP behaviors, how to handle breakups, and moving on post-relationship. Still, a good way to change your mindset and get you on the right path.
5.0 out of 5 starsExcellent book! I have read several of Bill Eddy's ...
Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2017
Excellent book! I have read several of Bill Eddy's books: Splitting; BIFF: High Conflict People in Legal Disputes and find this is another one that hit the topics head-on while keeping readers informed. I wish I had read this 20 plus years ago!!
Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2017
Excellent book! Analyzes why we keep repeating dating patterns and how to break the cycle of bad relationships to find the right person! Dating can be a huge time waster when you keep dating the zero gap type of person.
I've done a lot of reading about Cluster B disordered people and relationships due to my own unfortunate experience with this. The book didn't provide much that was new to me except the point about the "blind spot" that makes us vulnerable to the manipulation of narcissists, psychopaths, etc. This was valuable and enlightening for me. I found the book a bit redundant since the personality disorders discussed have so much overlap.
I love this guy (and the co author to).A true compassionate man. I read this book and my jaw dropped. A wealth of advice for anyone who is looking for answers.It made total sense what empaths go through in dealing with nasty people.
5.0 out of 5 starsConcise, informed, very practically relevant for anybody dealing with High Conflict Partners
Reviewed in Germany on December 12, 2017
The book is written by two trained long-term specialists on the field of divorce/separation from HCP (High conflict partners) such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality, Sociopathy or Histrionic Personality and a few more. It is well-written and concise, full of personal observations, well aligned with mainstream psychology. Authors give descriptions, as well as test material, as well as practical, reasonable and manageable guidelines (such as "wait for a year..." be careful if things feel too good to be true", watch out for your feelings with someone. If you feel inferior next to them, you might be dating a narcissist"...all good advice). The book helps you understand where your own blind spots are, loneliness etc....what makes you a potential prey, what jams your radar (charm is the number one radar jammer), it gives you clear cut non-ambiguous phrases such as "you can never fix a person, only therapy could, if they feel a need to change, but usually they don't." This book is highly recommendable to anybody who is young and never dated or people who already verified unhealthy patterns in their dating habits, especially if a lot of trauma has been experienced in the past. I read it in one go, after many on the topic and I was very satisfied with the structure, the factuality of the content and the experience of the authors which they deliver in a rational and easy-to-catch key-point kind of style. I found it very helpful and worth every cent of the money.