Instant Friendship: How to Make Friends Instantly
As a lifelong ambivert, I have admittedly had a difficult time making friends. I find social settings to be awkward and intimidating and although I can hold a conversation about pretty much anything, it never seems to naturally develop into anything else. I have frequently met others with whom I'd longed for a deeper connection, but I was utterly clueless as to how to grow those relationships and become friends.
Instant Friendship seeks to address the plight of those of us who have struggled with this seemingly impossible task. First, it helps to identify why you have a hard time making friends (do you not put yourself out there? Do you not know where to find people to connect with?). I am a bit standoffish and prefer to take in situations as opposed to putting myself out there. Obviously, not a great recipe for drawing people in. This book truly taught me to allow for opportunities to develop by creating them myself. Instead of being so closed off and expecting other to flock to me anyway, I have to look for chances to let my freak flag fly, so to speak, and be myself.
I'm naturally more drawn to the Internet than in-person connections because I'm a stay-at-home/work-from-home mother of 2 and Instant Friendship helps in that regard, too. Instead of just spilling the same advice (open up, talk to people, etc.), it provides specific ways to break the ice canned move from acquaintance to relationship and, most importantly, how to maintain that friendship once you have it. Although making friends in the first place can be difficult, making that friendship last is an entirely different beast with its own challenges. Some advice offered within the book is to proactive and be the type of friend that you want to have.
This advice was absolutely invaluable. I was able to immediately enact it with a woman I just met and I would instantly tell the difference that it made in our relationship. Making friends always seemed to come naturally to others, and now, it actually seems to be a bit second-nature for me, too. I'm not suddenly a social butterfly, but I have made a couple of great connections that I otherwise would not have.