I have been a pastor for more than 30 years. 30 years ago I thought that this book was good and have since reconnected with it, and see it as even better. I am using it with pre-marital counseling for couples in our church. My wife, two daughters, their husbands, and I will be vacationing together in three weeks. This book will be the focus of our study time together.
Originally published in 1982, Larry Crabb's The Marriage Builder: Creating True Oneness to Transform Your Marriage (2013) remains an important book for understanding and transforming marriages. As he writes of oneness, he mentions spirit oneness, soul oneness, and body oneness. As is common with Dr Crabb, he argues that we often believe our needs should be met by others whereas in truth, our primary needs are met in Christ. He does admit, however, that we often lose sight of Christ's filling us. He then moves on to soul oneness, which deals with how spouses are committed to loving the other in an other focused approach. Finally, he spends some time writing about body oneness, or how partners meet one another's physical desires. Having established these facets of true oneness, he discusses a foundation built on grace, commitment, and acceptance.
On the whole, this was a very practical book, grounded in the gospel. I believe that Dr Crabb rightly identifies that our primary identity and needs are met in Christ, but that we can also minister and serve through the marriage. His differentiation between goals and desires, and our level of control over them, is an important one. The discussion of the 3 building blocks--grace, acceptance, and commitment--are also worth the price of the book. This would be a very useful book not only for those who are just starting out, but also for those who have been married for a long time.
This is the best book on marriage that I've ever read----especially if you're a Christian who professes your faith but experiences struggles in your marriage. Welcome to the club. Dr. Crabb and his book will take you from moments of confusion to clarity, if you're willing to struggle through your questions during the process---and his work is always centered in God's Truth. Dr, Crabb doesn't put bandages on cancer. No simple solutions here as he takes you to the root of the problem. There is only One Marriage Builder.
One of the best marriage books out there. Centered on the gospel and isn't about manipulating the behavior of your spouse like so many books are. It brings a steady diet of honoring Christ by following His wisdom and instruction for marriage.
I have used it in premarital counseling as well as marriage counseling and it has yielded great fruit and awesome discussion.
I've read a lot of books on marriage and this one hands down is the best I've ever read. Larry Crabb is real, honest, and understanding in regards to the real life troubles that a marriage can face. His advice is sound and able to be executed with the right heart. I wish I would've read this book years ago in my marriage.
The Marriage Builder: Creating True Oneness to Transform Your Marriage is one of the best, anointed works on the subject ever produced. Dr. Crab offers a solid biblical perspective, that shine the Gospel Light on wholeness in oneness in the martial covenant. Stories and personal insight lay a proven foundation that by grace will equip learners to succeed in true godly marriage.
With all the controversy about what marriage is, this book answers the more important questions of why marriage is, and how marriage should be done. It's been around awhile, and it's still one of the best.
Great book that helps leads you and your spouse to God. It also causes you to view things differently and approach things differently. If you put in the effort the book is a fantastic tool to strengthen your marriage. I think it would be helpful if both spouses are saved.