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1.0 out of 5 starsJust started to read so more rates are possible at the end of reading
Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2018
I have just started to read this book. In the Acknowledgments, I noticed this, "If all wives loved as she does, fewer men would be looking over the fence." How about "If all husbands loved as he does, fewer women would be looking over the fence."? I am serious.
1.0 out of 5 starsSexist, heteronormative, triggering and Religious
Reviewed in the United States on December 8, 2018
I stopped reading at the part where the author recommended a woman to sleep with her husband against her will. WTF? Highly triggering for sexual abuse and domestic violence survivors. Also, the book reads like it’s written for white Christians. And for men who don’t want a partnership, but rather want to coerce their wife into being their sexually subservient housemaid/servant because they just don’t like vacuuming and can‘t afford hiring a cleaner („I thought I get myself a wife for that“). So if you’re a white Christian man or woman who likes to be a little housewife, yes, this book‘s for you. Besides that, the book offers solid scientific facts such as man‘s sex drive being dominated biologically by sperm pressure; that women‘s sex drive is purely emotional and not driven by their bodies; and more.
Reviewed in the United States on February 11, 2019
This book is rooted in religion. It is written solely for straight persons. The author over uses gender pronouns unnecessarily to push outdated gender norms. All the stories of couples are relatively the same, with the wife doing all the cooking and cleaning, and husband working too much and not spending quality time. The author credits himself a miracle worker whenever possible, including after convincing a woman to stay with her emotionally abusive partner based on the idea that if she treats him nicely even while being abused he will eventually come around. The basic, good principles of this book (which should be common sense) are overshadowed with very problematic ideals that may be triggering. It is important to note that while the author has a PhD he is NOT a psychiatrist, nor was his back ground in psychology or social work. His studies were in anthropology. He is a counselor through his church, and attended religious institutions for his education. He does however have clients refer to him as Dr. This is very misleading, and could be detrimental to persons seeking serious help in areas where emotional, physical, or substance abuse is at play, or in relationships where one or both parties is coping with mental illness.
The book was pretty good, it had some valid points and learning that there are different ways that people express their love was important. What I think pulled away from the book was the underlying religious agenda to preach about God. It totally turned me off And I thought it was completely unnecessary to deliver the message. Of course if you are a religious person then this would be right up your alley.
4.0 out of 5 starsGreat book, unless your wife is abusive
Reviewed in the United States on April 13, 2018
I liked this book. I bought it around the time I started noticing my wife was being combative pretty often. I wanted to understand her, and for her to understand me better. We took the test but the entire time she seemed to make a joke out of it. It turns out, when your significant other is verbally and mentally abusive there is no book that can help you. With a normal person, this book will help you understand the way your partner thinks. I still have this book and will use it in the future when I find someone worth it.
5.0 out of 5 starsAmazing way to restore the joy in your marriage!
Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2018
Absolutely every person should read this book. When I complained about something my husband did that annoyed me, he would say, "why don't you ever tell me about the things I do right?" Super evidence that he is a "Words of Affirmation" person. I am an "Acts of Service" person. So if he does something around the house or yard, I tell him what a good job he did, how great it turned out, and I thank him. These are not big deal things. If he drives I thank him for driving, If he empties the trash, I thank him. Stuff most people take for granted, the "Words of Affirmation" person needs to HEAR them. This guy thrives on compliments. I on the other hand, thrive on things like someone doing the dishes, or cleaning the floor. Don't buy me roses. To me, it's a waste of money! You have to read this book to find out which of the five languages you speak, and which your loved ones speak.
5.0 out of 5 starsMore than a book - More of a recipe for a joyful, happy relationship AND life
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 6, 2014
This is one of those rare books that transcends others. 5 stars doesn't even come close!
A friend recommended this to me. I shan't reveal why he'd come to read the book, needless to say he spoke very highly of it. He was right, it is genuinely life changing. The way you think about everyone (not only your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband, but your friends, children, parents, the lot!) can be altered dramatically if you give it a chance. It's aimed at helping you improve your marriage, but in my opinion it does that and much more besides.
It should be entitled - "Everything your parents didn't teach to in preparation for life - because they didn't know it either".
It's not perfect; the author is clearly a) American and b) a devout Christian. He mentions the American Dream and Church attendance more than once in the book. You have to accept this if you are neither of the above, foibles and all. It's repetitive in places too (deliberately, I'd guess) and slightly pious, verging on self congratulatory at times (it IS written by an America don't forget) but none of this should detract from an incredible read.
Whether all of the content is the author's own work or whether they've simply amalgamated a collection of other people's thoughts and theories to form their own, I neither know nor care. The ideas are presented in a highly digestible and practical form which will provoke thought and good nature in all but the most cynical reader.
If nothing else, it's such good value that you've nothing to lose but a few hours of your life, with everything to gain if you approach the content with an open mind.
Try it, you'll not be sorry. Read it, remember it, live by it and teach it to your children.
5.0 out of 5 starsGive your relationship a kick start with the advice in this book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 10, 2018
Get this book if you have any inclination to help your relationships along - be it with your partner, your kids or your friends. It made me understand better the things that were working reasonably well already and pin pointed the things that needed some attention. Encourage the important people in your life to read it too and life might take on a brighter look.
I purchased this book because I wanted to learn more about relationships and how to better connect with my partner. I read it within a day (with a four-month-old baby in the house), and I found it accessible and interesting. The author describes the five different love languages with anecdotes and examples, and guides the reader how to decide what their own personal primary language is, as well as that of their partner. Once you know your love language, you're able to better direct your partner how to love you in ways that make you feel loved. For example, my love language is Acts of Service, and that's how I've always shown my love -- doing things for people or taking care of things so they don't have to. When those efforts are not reciprocated or particularly appreciated, it makes me feel upset. However, I never considered that to other people, those efforts are not what makes THEM feel loved, and it took this book to help that lightbulb go off. Now, I know that for different people, you must show them love in the way that they best like to receive it. I can't wait to try it out on the people in my life. I'm planning to buy this book for several of my friends.
I had to check twice that this was written in 1992 and not 1962. It is written exclusively for married heterosexual couples. Not at all relevant to today's world. I was interested to find out what the love languages were and wish I'd heeded the review that said just Google them! There are loads of bible references and examples that scrape far too close to being dangerously sexist. There is one woman who is married to a vile man who may never change and the author basically says she should bend to his every will. Never once does he say that if the vile husband doesn't start speaking her love language that she should then leave him. He just quotes the Bible. Urgh, it's awful. Steer well clear.