Adventurer's Log, Day 1: unknown time - perhaps morning. I, Sir Benjamin Shortsword, arrived in the new world today, with the blessings of my people ringing in my ears and outfitted solely with this pencil and diary. Stevespeed to me on this dark and dangerous quest, filled with unknown monsters and devilish evils. May I endure with the perseverance of our founding father, Steve, and fight till victory is won, or until I meet my bitter end in death. I shall fight on, never failing to - oh, look, a sheep.
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I'm not sure what prompted you to listen to this, or if anyone ever will hear this, but it's important. In case we don't get out, someone should know what happened. If you've found this where I think you did, in the Village archives, then leave it there. Memorize what you need and run. You're not safe here; trust me, I know. This book can lead you to help; get help and get out. Maybe you can finish what we started.
This is bad. This is bad, bad, bad. This is MENTAL. You're never going to believe what's happening, but I'm literally hiding out in a bunker while the world explodes. Everything I built - gone. Just like that. You wanna know why? Aliens. Guaranteed. It's aliens. I mean it! There was literally like, a portal in the sky, and 50 billion little cubes fell down from the sky. And then some weirdo guy called Henry started coming out of all of the cubes, and there's a bazillion little Henrys running around terrorizing the place. I got everyone else into bunkers, but we're all gonna die. Guaranteed.