I wanted to like this, I really did. I've been searching for that perfect mix of zombie fiction. Fast-paced, character driven, but believable. It's ha..Show More »rd to say exactly where this novella goes wrong. The writing isn't awful, it's actually relatively descriptive in all the right ways. I think most of the problem lies within the dialogue. There was nothing realistic about the way they talked to each other. It reminded me more of something you would hear in a play put on by kindergartners. There was hardly any contractions... "I do not (don't) believe he would survive long...It is (its) too dark... you are (you're) immune... no I will not (won't) take that chance....People just don't talk like that in every day communication. And I think she tries to move too quickly from point A to point B. The scenes are short and clipped in that "show me, don't tell me" kind of way.
I can't tell if the narrator made it worse or better. Almost every sentence ended sounding like she had just asked a question. But she did an okay job at voice inflection for the different characters. I think given a different story, with better dialogue, she would have done better.
Either way, I'm sorry to say I would not recommend either the story or the narrator to anyone.