We all have things we want to change about ourselves: lose a few pounds, quit smoking, get fit, repair our relationships, improve our finances, and so on. But all too often the end goal seems too far away from where we are, so we get on the "try and fail" roundabout. Why? Because change is hard, even painful. We instinctively avoid pain. And our old ways of behaving are so ingrained, so wired in, that we drift back to them without even realizing it.