Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
"Like bacon for your ears"
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation's history, from her inception to present day - Nick's personal pantheon of "great Americans".
"Swagger and mirth"
Nestled among the glitz and glitter of Tinseltown is a testament to American elbow grease and an honest-to-God hard day's work: Offerman Woodshop. Captained by hirsute woodworker, actor, comedian, and writer Nick Offerman, the shop produces not only fine handcrafted furniture but also fun stuff - kazoos, baseball bats, ukuleles, even mustache combs.
"Insightful, Cover to Cover"
[Contains explicit content] Tommy Chong lends his voice to the retelling of Aesop's classic fable, "The Tortoise and the Hare." Our version, written by Matt Lieb, features some familiar elements--like the race--but our animals live in a hippie co-op, where sometimes a race isn't about, like, racing. Right, man?
[Contains explicit content] The fiery Lewis Black tells an original story by Dave Hill called "Todd the Dragon Slayer." As you can probably guess, it features a dragon. And a guy named Todd. It's totally awesome.
[Contains explicit content] Things started going bad for Heinz Linge the moment he woke up with gum in his hair. When the day ended, Hitler was dead and Heinz was mopping the floor. As they say, one man's day of victory and liberation is another man's day of rejection by his genocidal dictator best friend.
[Contains explicit content] Did you know that the classic poem "Casey at the Bat" has an epilogue? Turns out the infamous Casey is quite the lothario, thanks to his baseball superstar status. Nick Thune brings all the juicy details to life.
[Contains explicit content] Maria Bamford brings to life the most adorable home-invasion in history—"Goldilocks." Our version of this classic tale, reimagined by Dave Hill, takes a sober look at this childhood favorite from the perspective that anyone who would break into a family of bears' house, eat their food, destroy their furniture, and mess up their beds must be one serious piece of work.
[Contains explicit content] It's every Southern Californian teenager's dream, right? Ride in a banged up Toyota hatchback to a divey night club, meet a real-life Arabian prince, and get rescued from your life of toilet scrubbing. In this episode of Bedtime Stories for Cynics, Brent Weinbach creates a modern-day version of "Cinderella," set in Los Angeles.
This week, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket with the help of Deputy Judge Nick Offerman! The Judge, Bailiff and Deputy Judge rule on cocktail drinking etiquette, mail protocol and more! Plus some listener letters regarding previous episodes.
[Contains explicit content] Patton Oswalt performs an adaptation of the Brothers Grimm classic, “The Frog Prince.” Ours has all the usual ingredients—a frog, a princess, and a touch of magic—but with a few extra elements, like gastrointestinal disorders, classy nicknames, and gratuitous male nudity.
[Contains explicit content]
Once upon a time, men had purpose. They were the bacon-winners. They brought home the bread. Their jobs were important and meaningful. But the times, they are a changing. For tonight's edition of Bedtime Stories for Cynics, John O'Hurley teaches the youth about all the important "jobs" that daddies do in these modern times.
[Contains explicit content] If children's literature is any guide, we should all be able to magically fall asleep simply by saying goodnight to the things we can see from our beds. But any adult knows that our work anxieties and shameful memories would rather stay up all night and chat. Which is why the only viable bedtime routine for weary adults involves a healthy dose of medication.
[Contains explicit content] House shopping can be scary for buyers and sellers alike. Especially if you're touring a house haunted by a history of failed relationships, and your realtor is a creepy Tony Hale.
[Contains explicit content] The Hans Christian Anderson classic, "The Emperor's New Clothes," touched on some pretty popular fears, but we're digging deeper with our version. We're skipping past trivial things like nakedness or death, because we know the true fear that unites all of humanity - a bad haircut.
[Contains explicit content] Phoebe Robinson performs "The Thirsty Caterpillar," a modern-day tale of what happens when the desire for fame goes too far. Written by Guy Branum, this story features a larval creature desperate for internet attention and documents her exploits as she transforms into a social butterfly.